#saw the body. and then they also saw how mike didn't let them comfort will the way he did and wouldn't let them touch him and how

[staceymcgillicuddy]

13 for hellcheer!! ❣️

13. How do they express love for each other? Do they have compatible love languages?

Eddie's expression is like... Acts of Service if you looked that up in a dictionary. He just wants to do for her. I think you see that in almost everything he does in the series, even, before things go to shit. Like, for all his giving shit to Dustin and Mike, he worked his ASS OFF on that campaign. I cannot imagine the hours of nerdy research that went into giving them a killer night. You know he's in there set-dressing the table, bringing the goblets, all that shit. The boy loves to make other people happy!

As for receiving, I think Eddie's pretty high on physical touch, which is why he's so careful about NOT touching Chrissy. Like, he touches the people he loves, and when they hug him or touch him back, that's super important to him, so he'd never force that on someone he didn't know, or who seemed uncomfortable with it.

Chrissy's a little harder to pin down expression-wise since we saw less of her in the show. Receiving-love-wise, I think she's a combination of Quality time and Words of Affirmation. She's lived a life as a manifestation of other people's expectations, so having someone who listens to her and engages with her and loves her for just being her would be so revolutionary, I think. With Words of Affirmation, I think she loves being complimented, but doesn't know what to DO with those compliments, so she demurs and hides from them. The worst thing Eddie could ever do is like... hold her down and make her accept him saying nice things about her (but also she'd secretly love it).

So, thinking more about how she shows love, I'm coming down on team physical touch. Just some of her body language makes me think she and Eddie would be compatible that way, and that once she was comfortable with him, she'd want to touch him all the time.

This was such a fun question, thank you for letting me ramble!

Couples Asks

[bylertruther]

be honest. do you think the party knows will is gay?

[netflixbingger]

Going Crazy

Steve Harrington x Reader

Request: “Heyy!! May I request please with Steve x Henderson Reader where she’s cursed with Vecna; perhaps she died because it was too late, they didn’t got the chance to find out what prevents it. Thankss”

Word Count: 1,502

Notes: Quickly wrote this up, I haven't written anything in a long time... so I might be a bit rusty. Also WARNING; it might be a bit dark for some people!!

You felt like you were going crazy.

It wasn't a new feeling; you've felt this way for a while now. Ever since you somehow got dragged into this upside-down demagorden shit, you've felt like you would break at any second. You hated being alone; you hated the dark, the noises of your house during the night, and the painful flashbacks of your friends dying. For years now, you've been experiencing headaches and nightmares; that's why you didn't notice how they've been getting worse. That's how you didn't realize you were Vecna's next target.

When Max read the similar symptoms between Chrissy and Fred, you froze. Your mind was racing as you tried to figure out if what you had been experiencing the past few days were normal or a sign of becoming a victim.

Your thoughts were halted when a familiar hand touched your back, "Hey, you okay?" the comforting voice of your boyfriend Steve asked.

You felt like everything was in slow-mo as you turned toward him. Your mind was racing to figure out what to say, but no words could come out. You didn't want to worry him even more than he was; you needed to make sure before telling everyone. Smiling, you nodded and mumbled that everything was fine before reaching for the files to read them yourself.

As you compared the notes, you felt Steve's stare at the back of your head; it was clear he knew something was up. He could read you like a book; there was nothing you hide from him. You heard his sneakers skidding towards you; he opened his mouth to pester you about it again but was stopped as Lucas yelled Max's name. Immediately dropping the papers, you and everyone else ran towards the young girl, trying to wake her from her trance.

After a few minutes, she finally woke up, gasping for air. She began to mumble about the hallway, saying there was something there. Dragging you all through the school halls, she started rambling about clocks and weird noises. Once she began to describe what she saw, you stopped walking. You swore you knew precisely what clock she was talking about, as it was in your dreams last night... or so you thought it was a dream. Falling back into the school lockers, you slid to the floor and let out a silent cry. It was less than a second before Steve was next to you, asking you what was wrong.

With tears in your eyes, you looked up at Steve and the kids, "I know what she's talking about."

You fearfully whispered, looking him in the eyes, "I saw that clock last night." ------------------------------------

The car ride was silent as everyone was processing what was about to happen.

You stared out the window, picking at the skin around your nails. It wasn't long before your nervous tick was forcibly stopped as Steve reached for your hand, "It's going to be okay" he looked at you before turning towards Max. "We are going to figure out how to stop this"

He squeezed your hand, sending you a hopeful smile before turning the wheel towards your destination, the Wheelers. But as you drove through the familiar neighborhood, you felt your stomach drop. A chill ran through your body as Steve turned onto the street that the Wheelers live on. 

Once parked, Steve helped you out of the car and began to guide you towards Nancy and Mike's house. One moment, you were holding Steve's hand, and the next, you were alone. The clock's ticking grew louder and louder as the sky grew grey.

Not now, please not now. You needed more time; you needed to say goodbye to everyone.

"It's time," Vecna's voice echoed throughout the air.

You shook your head, trying to deny what was happening. You cried and pleaded with him, asking him for more time. But your wishes were responded to with a loud haunting laugh. Turning around to see where the sound was coming from, you were face to face with the monster himself, "Your time is up."

Within a flash of a second, you were lifted in the air by his hand. Pain shot through your entire body, as it felt like you were having the life sucked out of you. All you could focus on was the muffled voices of your friends screaming your name. Begging for you to wake up.

You wanted to scream, kick, fight, and run, but your body became stiff. You couldn't move. You knew you were dying, and you couldn't do anything. You had to accept it. Memories of Steve flashed between your eyes; gosh, you hated him throughout High School; he was the epitome of the classic jock. He was a cocky, handsome, selfish, fuck boy. Every time you saw him in the halls, you'd roll your eyes at his stupid smile and fluffy hair.

But then, for some reason, you got thrown into all this mess with him. At first, you still despised him, but as he and Nancy broke up, and she and Johnathan became an item: you only had each other to comfort. There weren't many people that knew what you two had gone through, and it wasn't like you could tell anyone… you were trauma bonded. Weekly check-ins soon turned into daily, and calls on the phone would last till 4am. The annoying fluffy-haired boy soon became your best friend and rock, and it didn't take long for feelings to grow; they hit fast and hard.

It wasn't until after the mall incident that you finally professed your love for the boy, and since then, he had been glued to your hip. You spent almost every day together and even convinced your parents to let you sleep over in each other's rooms every other night. You loved him with all of your heart, so knowing your journey with him was coming to an end broke your heart. 

You wanted more time; you wanted this to all be a dream and wake up in Steve's arms. Tell him you loved him and that it will all be alright, that you were never going to leave his side like you had once promised. But you were too late. You know what was coming, the pain that was about to happen.

You wished they didn't have to see this and become victims of another gruesome death. All you wanted was for these kids to live a normal everyday life, but now they will permanently be scarred by your death. You prayed for Max to survive; she didn't deserve to die like this.

Closing your eyes, you accepted it; there was nothing to do now. You let your body fly into the air as Steve, and the kids cried your name. They were screaming and jumping at you, trying to wake you up. They didn't know what to do or what would happen next. Their screams were silenced by the sound of your bones snapping and eyes bursting. They watched in shock as your body twisted and deformed. Your body slamming into the ground was the only sound that echoed through the streets.

Steve watched with blurred eyes; the most beautiful girl he had ever met was slaughtered before him, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

He couldn't understand what had happened; he couldn't process that you had just died. Slowing walking to your body, he let out a silent chuckle, "ha ha guys, really funny" he turned to the kids, "nice stunt you did there; where's El? She must have helped you with this one."

His eyes scanned over the kids; Max was crying into Lucas's chest as he looked away, and Dustin fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face as he shook his head...Silently pleading with Steve.

Steve turned around to look at your body once again, letting out a loud shriek as he plummeted to the ground. It hit him all at once, you were dead.He began to cry your name as he curled up on the pavement.

Everything hurt; he couldn't take it. You were the one for him. You were it. The one person he promised to protect to all ends. The person he loved with all his being. You were dead; you were gone.

He felt like he was lying there for hours, thinking about how he wanted to marry you and grow old together. How you were the most beautiful, funny, and kind person he had ever met. He would never forget the day you told him you loved him; he never felt so happy, fulfilled, and grateful. How someone like you could love a loser like him would always dumbfound him. You were his rock, his light. You were the only thing that was getting him through this.

The sounds of Steve's screaming echoed through the air, and it didn't take long for the neighbors and police to rush over. Everyone began to escort the group away from your body, asking questions to figure out what had just happened. But the group was in too much shock to provide any answers.

As Steve watched the police wrap up your body, he promised that he would put an end to this. He refused for anyone else to die this way; he needed revenge... for a part of him died with you.

NOTE: PLEASE FEEL FREE TO REQUEST MORE!!!!

Tags: @jackhughes-86 @lily-267​

[nofoundboy]

LAST ONE FR ONLY BC I SAW A RZ MICHEAL MYerS FANART

rz micheal myers x gn reader 🤩 🤩

fluff bc im still sad over the billy lenz x male reader fanfic u wrote also idk if rz mike is in an asylum/jail thingy so lets pretend he escapes, he possibly did but idk since i didnt watch the movie 🤷🏽‍♂️ 

Its been a few years since reader and Michael dated, it came to the point where Michael felt comfortable enough to let them touch him and not feel all ew inside, one day reader asks Michael if they can play and possibly brush micheal hair short and simple :D

I just wanted an excuse to write about Michael's hair. This is perfect 😔💖

RZ Michael Myers, reader, games, and giant Rapunzel

"You're it" you exclaimed with a smile as you briefly touched Michael's elbow.

You started running as fast as you could, as you knew what a great advantage Michael had thanks to his height. A couple of steps and he could catch you, so you had to redouble your efforts if you wanted to stay longer without being caught.

It was a nice day and Michael was in a very good mood, as he had achieved a couple of morning kills in record time. When you got home you greeted him with a big bag of candy after dinner.

That's why he willingly agreed to play with you, something that had become a habit between you as trust grew.

Having a relationship with Michael was not easy by any stretch of the imagination. Gaining his trust had been the first step, and one that, in fact, didn't seem to be over yet, but you had been able to deepen his trust through games.

He could be all the worst to the people of Haddonfield, but you knew that the gleam in his eyes, hidden by his hair and mask, manifested itself not only when he killed, but also when you bought his favorite candy and let his inner predator come out in a healthy way in games of hiding and seek.

Hence, on that fine day, you were playing.

You were running around the house, running upstairs and looking back constantly. It was strange to think that he had a different experience from chasing people. It made you feel a little guilty that you were smiling, with a nice feeling in your chest at something that would probably have everyone else in a state of panic.

Clearly, that experience helped Michael, who in no time collided against your body and squeezed you in his arms. You pressed your forehead to his chest and he held completely still for several minutes.

"Michael...can I brush your hair?" was something you had done perhaps on a couple of occasions, however, it was still something new in your relationship. Something that felt quite intimate to you.

He nodded softly.

You smiled and took his hands and led him into the bedroom. He sat down on the edge of the bed and you knelt on the bed, brush in hand.

You were careful to smooth out the knots with your fingers before running the brush through, reveling in the texture of his hair and Michael's own scent. He found it soothing to be pampered in this way.

He didn't say much out loud, but you knew that by simply having him at your disposal, it meant how much he liked your attention and that he did, in fact, trust you more than anyone else he'd ever met.

Before you finished, you planted a soft, short kiss on the back of his neck, now covered by a soft cascade of hair.

"You're like Rapunzel, only...giant" you whispered in amusement as you climbed down from the bed to put down the brush.

Your height didn't matter, much less your weight, they didn't matter in front of Michael, who grabbed your waist and with ease, whipped your body against the bed.

You began to laugh loudly in surprise and he just touched your forehead gently. He lay down next to you and his thick hair tickled your nose.

Those were good days.

[m-jelly]

Hi Jelly, Have you watched the last season? I'm too overwhelmed and sad by the first episode. Seeing our Captain dying is just painful 💔. May I request?.. I just wanna feel better, in which Levi is in modern au and is an actor? He also potrays himself in Attack Titan which is a modern series? A scenario in which Levi's s/o watching and seeing him in that state though it's just act in the TV made her sad and in so much fear that she kept crying for days and nights, desperately clinging into Levi. Levi on the other hand, is so worried that he keeps reminding her that he's alive and well, that he is with her and would never leave her? Levi decided to took a break from his other tapings so that he can be with her and also he can comfort his lover? Please end it with a fluff and comedic with Levi and his s/o spending time with other casts and teased by Connie and the others because they're just such a cute couple.

So sorry if I released my sadness here Jelly but also Thank you <33

Hellooooo. I knew when the season started again I'd see some sad fans. I haven't watched the new episodes yet. I am a HUGE follower of the Manga, so the manga traumatized me. Seeing the spoiler of Levi flying through the air sacred me. I hoped he wasn't killed off. I mean, he's been through so much and an explosion killing him? Nah, mate.

Manga spoiler below in my response below.

He does become adorable in that scene when he's bandaged up and sits up and has messy bed hair, like so cute and I look forward to seeing that animated <3 I'm on this. I'm currently doing an actor Levi story on Ao3, so this is like a side story from that haha

I'm right here with you

Pairing: Levi x reader

Genre and tags: romance, established relationship, Levi is an actor, modern AU, feels, emotional, comfort, fluff, love, so squishy with feelings, Levi being there for you, Levi is a gem, happiness and happy ending.

Concept: Excited to see your boyfriend in his tv series called attack on titan, you sit with him when the episode airs. You watch the latest episode while Levi is on set filming the next only to end up crying. While on set, Levi gets a phone call from you. Levi gets excited to hear your voice but is met with your sobs and pleas for him to let you know he's okay. Levi comes home to you and holds you as you cry out your feelings. After feeling better and knowing your lover is okay, the nightmares start. Levi supports you, but they are getting too much for you mentally. Levi books time off work to be with you at home and care for your mental health and hold you through the pain. After a nice rest together, Levi brings you on set with him so you can see how the live-action episodes are filmed and that the blood was just hyperrealistic and gets you involved with the next scenes.

Spoilers <3 Levi tells the reader what happens to his character, so if you are an anime-only person with AOT stay clear as this will talk about the manga and how Levi ends up as the manga is over (Sad face)

You grabbed your snacks and drink, then ran over to the sofa as excitement filled every inch of your body. You couldn't wait to watch your wonderful and talented boyfriend in a live-action tv series called attack on titan. Levi played Levi Ackerman, who were both exactly like each other. He was so strong, brave and handsome. You looked forward to seeing him every week acting so bravely. The show didn't have a book or manga it was following, and the writer kept the story secret from everyone but the crew and actors.

You loved the live-action series, but it didn't shock you at how real it seemed. When you saw blood or titans they looked like it was all really happening. You cried and had a few nightmares after Mike's death and you were heartbroken at Erwin's. You felt better when you met up with them after and spent time with them. The two of them were doing amazing in their new acting gigs, but you knew Levi missed both of them greatly.

You got comfy on your sofa, wrapped a blanket around you, then turned on the tv and started watching only to have your heart shatter at what you were watching. The blood on Levi was so real, you thought you were actually watching him cling to what little life he had left. You loved Levi, your actor Levi, with all your heart and soul. You felt like you were watching the man you love die.

You fought the urge to be sick, but it was hard to stop it. Your vision became blurred as the tears consumed your eyes. You didn't want to lose him. You couldn't lose him. You felt so powerless and weak. You'd never had such a reaction in your life to a show, or a movie, but you were breaking apart mentally. You wanted the floor to swallow you up and take you far away from where you were.

You grabbed your phone, then dialled Levi's name desperate to hear his voice. Levi had been so busy with the series, that you hadn't seen him in days which only added to the anxiety of losing him. With each ring in your ear, the more your heart sank lower. You kept thinking that the explosions in the series had been real and there had been an accident on set.

You gasped when Levi sang your name. "Levi!"

Levi frowned at your tone and said your name again. "Everything alright?"

You dropped to the floor and cried. "You're alive. You're okay."

Levi held his hand up to the writer. "Excuse me, my girlfriend needs me." Levi ran through the set to his car. "What's going on, talk to me."

You could barely get any words out as you sobbed hard into the phone. You couldn't get the images out of your head. You were so confused because you could hear your boyfriends voice but you'd just watched him on tv look like he was dying. You clenched the phone and heard Levi giving you reassuring words, but you couldn't hear him well because you were panicking.

Levi pulled up to his house, then sprinted inside to find you on the floor crying. His heart broke at the sight of you breaking in front of him. He ran over to you and called your name over and over to get you to look at him. He knelt at your side and placed his hand on your back. You flinched at his touch, then threw yourself at him.

Levi held you tightly and rocked you as you cried. "Shh, I'm here brat. I'm here." He rubbed your back, then kissed the side of your head. "I'm here." He looked at the tv and guessed what had just happened. "I know it looks real, but it's not. I know we have the exact same names, but it's not me. I'm alive, okay? I'm alive and I love you so much."

You slowed your breathing down, then pulled back and looked at Levi. "It looked so real."

"I know."

You rubbed your tears away. "And you've been gone for a few days."

He cupped your face. "I know. I'm sorry."

You gulped and whimpered as you felt a mixture of feeling silly, but some shock. "I felt powerless."

Levi kissed you roughly making you hum in surprise, then you relaxed and kissed him back. "I should have warned you about that scene, I should have. I'm sorry I wasn't here while you watched it either." He smiled softly at you to reassure you. "I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm alive and I love you."

You sniffed and relaxed into his touch. "I love you too."

He pulled you against him, then stood up and held you. "Come on. I think you need a bath with me and then bed."

You clung to Levi and spoke in a soft and weak voice. "Okay."

Levi rubbed your back, then sat you on a seat in the bathroom. He started the bath, then turned and kissed you. "I'm never going to leave you, okay?"

You nodded. "Yes, Levi."

He showed you his right hand. "Look, I have all my fingers."

You smiled and touched his fingers. "You do."

He took your hand and placed it under his right eye. "I have no scar here either."

You ran your fingers over his face and smiled more as you felt calmer. "No scars."

He smiled, then pulled back and finished the bath up. "Alright brat, time to cuddle in the bath." He pulled his things off and stood naked in front of you. "No scars anywhere."

You blushed a little, then took your things off. "No scars."

"No blood or cuts."

You nodded. "None." You climbed into the bath with Levi, then sat with your back against his chest. You inspected his hand and smiled. "Thank you. I'm sorry I cried so much over a tv show."

He hugged you tightly. "Don't be sorry. It was very realistic, I was gone for a few days, you love me deeply and well, this show matters to you. Don't ever be sorry for loving a show and being invested in it. You truly care about what happens to the Captain. It also shows you truly care about me as well."

You hummed and kissed his right hand. "I do. Thank you."

Levi tended to you in the bath, then moved you to bed once he'd dried you off and changed you. He held you tightly as you fell asleep, but it didn't go very smooth. You had nightmares all night of him dying over and over. You tried to nap the next day, but the nightmares would not stop. You had three days of none stop nightmares when you tried to sleep and it was driving you crazy. Levi had been at work most of the time when you had nightmares, so you just got more scared when you woke up and he wasn't there to soothe you.

Levi decided he needed to be at home with you. He booked time off work and spent it taking you on dates and reminding you how alive he was. He'd show it to you romantically, playfully and in the bedroom as he made love to you. He needed you to know he was alive and here for you. Plus, he wanted to spend more time with you. Levi wanted to be with you always because he loved you so much. Your tears had moved him so much, that he felt like he hadn't been there for you enough or shown you love. You were the one who showered him in love and he gave you little signs of love, so now Levi was coming at you with full force with his love for you.

Levi wanted you with him, so when he had to go back to filming he brought you along with him. He pulled you through the set, then turned to you and smiled. "What do you think?"

You twirled around slowly as you marvelled at the beautiful set. "This is incredible." You looked back to Levi. "It also makes me see that it is just a tv series too."

Levi pulled you close and kissed you. "Don't you dare start saying sorry again for getting upset."

You pouted a little at him. "Okay."

He kissed along your jawline to your ear. "Good girl."

You giggled and hugged him, then you noticed Connie watching you and Levi. "Oh! Hi, Connie!"

Connie grinned and waved. "Hi!" He jogged over and laughed. "Look at you two lovebirds. I've never seen Levi like this before."

Levi pulled you against him. "Shut up baldie."

"Wah!? I'm not bald!"

Hange raced right over. "Levi's girlfriend!" She jumped, then landed right by you and Levi and said your name. "Hi, best bud."

You smiled and waved. "Hello."

She yanked you from Levi's arms and held you. "My poor bestie having to put up with a terrible boyfriend! Oh! The horror!"

Levi growled. "Tch, oi four eyes? Let my girlfriend go."

Hange pressed her cheek against yours as you both looked at Levi. "You don't appreciate her enough."

Connie nodded. "Yeah. Hange is right." Connie jumped at Levi's glare. "Shutting up!"

Hange grinned at Levi. "What kind of boyfriend doesn't prepare his sweet girlfriend for his on-screen bloody body!?"

You hummed a laugh. "I'm okay now Hange." You walked over to Levi and hugged him. "Levi was wonderful to me and we're closer than ever."

Levi hugged you. "Yeah, we are." He smiled at you softly as he felt madly in love, then he glared at Hange. "So, fuck off."

You gasped. "Don't be mean. She saves your ass, right?"

Hange leaned over and whispered. "Spoiler alert, I do." She gasped. "Wanna see what he's gonna look like? They've already done makeup tests."

You nodded. "I'd love to if I'm allowed?"

Levi held your hand and sighed. "You are, but I'm taking you. I'm not letting you out of my sight."

Hange skipped along at your side. "He looks adorable by the way."

You hummed a laugh. "I can imagine he does."

"He's been working his ass off recently. So, tired Levi."

Levi sighed. "I have been tired. This show is very demanding, but I got a nice rest and back to work hard."

You hummed and smiled. "I know you'll do great."

Levi stopped in front of pictures at the makeup table, then pointed. "There I am. Test makeup for me soon."

You leaned closer. "Wow. Those are some really cool scars."

"Thanks."

You smiled, then looked at Levi and Hange. "Thank you, both of you for comforting me. The same goes for Connie, but you scared him off Levi."

Levi pouted. "Sorry." Levi blushed a little. "Want to meet the others? It's been a while since you've seen them and Mikasa misses you."

You nodded and smiled brightly. "Please! I want to wrap a scarf around her neck."

"She'll love that."

Hange ran ahead. "Guys! The future Mrs Ackerman is here!"

You blushed bright red. "Mrs Ackerman?"

Levi smiled a little. "I think it fits you well."

You smiled at him and nodded. "It does."

[mirauwu02]

Michael afton x reader

a/n

well that my first writing and English isn't my first language so please go easy on me <3

warning: none

what you don't usually see after leaving

the clock hits 11:40pm and michael is leaving for his fifth night at fun time editorials, " see you after six hours, love" he said while giving you a quick kiss in the lips, "see you after six hours mikey~" you smiled trying to hide your worries and sadness, you always wanted to tell him to leave that goddamn job but you couldn't cuz you know he want to set Elizabeth free.

you've tried to hell him but to late he left. you can do nothing just heading to the bathroom of your shared room and cries over and over, you couldn't stop thinking about those nightmares that you had about his dead in the scooping room also every dream that you had was happening in reall to him and that what makes you scared more, you didn't realized till you saw micheal standing in the door

"love.... what are you doing here, are you okay?" he said with a worried in his voice. the only light was in the room was from the moonlight

"......" you couldn't say nothing, that was a bit embarrassing you didn't want him to see like this

"y/n... sweetie is something wrong..? did something happened to you?" he was really worried he just left you smiling, he walk slowly to you and sit on his knees looking at you closer

"y..you-.. you supposed... - t to be in.... work"you said between your lips,

"yeah i forgot the keys in the room and I didn't find you" that look in his eyes, you can hear his heart beating more than yours he felt nervous

"is tha.. so-" you could not talk you are shaking, he didn't know what he should do so he hug you very tight trying to comfort you petting your head "darling... please can you tell me what happened to you"

"y..... you... ar... e gonna.... b-...be... l... late" you've tried to avoid his question " Well I know but you came first before work before anything else so please love tell me what happened" after he said the silence fulled the bathroom

" hmm Mike please the goddamn job I can't stop getting those nightmares that you are dead in" you said as fast as you can bfore losing your breath again from crying. he pulls up your face to look in him icy blue eyes tears fall again like it raining "nightmares that I'm dead in? since when you start seeing this dreams?"

"a while before you start working there...... it's.... i..... had a cleared dreams...... about everything you went through....... and i get a bit scared... because everything you told me about in the next morning... i saw it"

you where trying to hold you tears to not cry again because you already made his shirt wet

"love.... can you tell me how i died in your dream...?" he softly asked you

" Well.... you went to the scooping room There were circus baby led you telling you that ballora won't follow you because she's scared from scooping..., but in Somehow They were in one body and they scooped you, you died They took your body though"

"........ I can't say nothing tho-"

he stands up ond hold you in his arms carefully taking to the bed, he softly puts you there and cover you with a blanket giving you a kiss in your cheek whipping the tears of them, he slept next to you holding you to his chest" aren't you going to work...? "

" it's too late it's 1 am already and I can't let you here like this.... I guess you convinced me but I can't help pumpkin I'm staying "

you giggled... he smiles" finely that sad expression left your face "

even both of you knows that your eyes gonna be blown up tomorrow

" y/n... I love you"

"me too mikey"

HEHE... the end... well I know the ending was a bit weird (my ideas crushed suddenly) sorry if it not to long, hope you enjoy it<3

[jamiedc-they-them]

Being the Wheeler middle child and being a mentor figure to the Party:

Being the middle child is...ok.

Nancy is a bit better with you. You get along better than she does with Mike.

And Mike does prefer you more. You play DnD with them. And they help you when you get stuck.

You're good with them. But they're not as good with you. You put in a lot of effort to help them, but you're just sort of there from their perspective. They care about you but are mostly just doing their own thing while you drop everything to help them.

Then weird shit starts happening. Mike drags you in, but you try to keep it from Nancy, knowing that she is already struggling with her best friend's death.

So, before Steve, you are the team parent.

To El, you are like an older sibling. You help make sure she is safe and look out for her. Well,

You pick up quick on the connection between her and Mike.

"I'd give him the whole, 'don't hurt her' speech, but I think you'd do that yourself."

"What is the speech?" El asks, taking a breath between each word. You help her with her English.

"Just...something to make sure those I...care about are safe."

El smiles a bit. And you smile back.

You have to constantly cover for the kids. And they all come to you with their issues.

After the Demogorgon issue, you now have a bunch of younger siblings and dumbasses. But also Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan to help.

This brings you and Nancy closer.

Max becomes a part of your younger siblings/dumbass gang. But she's less of the latter.

You and the others stand up to Billy.

You get hurt sometimes. Being a fellow dumbass. And when that happens, they're all on high alert and concerned.

You almost get Mind Flayed. And El goes in to see some of your memories. She sees how, being the middle child wasn't all fun and games, sometimes you were ignored by all your family.

So, because of that, it was why you were reckless. You were ignored and never fully felt loved.

"I can fight," El promises Hopper.

"I know you can, kid. And, I know Y/N means a lot to you -"

"I saw something, in their mind," while she isn't sure if she should say it. But she trusts Hopper. He is like a dad, sort of, in the group. And Joyce does sometimes play the mother.

"They...they do this to feel wanted."

"'This'?"

"Fight so hard for us. Love scares them."

Before he leaves with Joyce, he goes to see Mike and Nancy, "look, I don't mean to sound rude. But, you guys love Y/N, right?"

The two share a look, before confirming it in sync.

Hopper nods, glad to have it confirmed, "good. Because I think we're gonna need it to get them out."

You go after your siblings as they deal with the Mind Flayer.

"Y/N. Y/N stop, please." Nancy begs as she dodges your attacks. You're both not exactly experts on hand-to-hand combats, so it's a messy fight. With charging and tackling.

You, however, start to choke her out. And her instincts kick in to survive, trying to get your hands off or go for your eyes. Then she remembers what Hopper says.

"I'm sorry," she says. You freeze. She sees your eyes cloud a bit, "I'm sorry we never...we never paid you attention like you did with us. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry. You've helped us. You've been there for us. We...we haven't for you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she puts her hands on your arm. She sees tears start to pool in your eyes. The strength the flayer has on you becoming less and less, "let us help you now. Just like you helped us. You mean a lot to us all, Y/N."

She coughs as you let go, backing up. You remember what you did. It all hits you at once.

When she has strength back, she hugs you as you sob.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok. It's ok. You didn't do anything wrong."

You see Max crying over Billy's body. You go to try to comfort her, despite your state, but Nancy holds you still and brings you back, "it's ok. She has the others. Right now, I've got you, Y/N. It's ok. I'm here. I'm here."

As you all say goodbye for the summer, El thanks you for looking after her.

You stay in Hawkins. But now your friends take care of you too.

You're all dumbasses together.

There's a balance, now. You look out for them, they look out for you.

[artbyrivaille]

Hair ☕

Okay, so at the outset, I would like to emphasize that English is not my mother tongue and I am still learning. But writing is my hobby and I decided that I will try my skills here too, in English, I invite you to write requests, I hope you will like it!

3,5k words!

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She was strong. She was a good soldier, commander, companion.

But she was also a beautiful woman with an amazing figure who was envied by many. Despite being quite short, because she was only five feet three, she had long slender legs. Overall, she was considered a beautiful woman. However, she had short hair.

Her hairstyle was practically identical to Levi's, but no one accused her of trying to look like him, as she was cutting her hair that way long before Ackerman joined the survey corps.

Oh, she and Levi. It was quite a sneaky topic, let alone the rumors around the body. They were often seen in each other's company, people interpreted it differently.

Some said it was just a friendship and a bond they established when Ackermann was part of her branch at the beginning of his career. And the others insinuated the supposed romance of the two. Well the versions were really different, but the truth was that y/n and good captain Levi were just two great friends. The woman was one of the few people who knew the man's past, and shared with him some facts about her. Because they both came from the Underground, however, and managed to get out of there on their own, and not with the help of scouts, as was the case with Levi.

At first they were not very sympathetic, quite the opposite. They had very similar characters, which theoretically should indicate that they will get along well, but that was only theoretically. In practice, they got on their nerves terribly.

But despite this aversion to a man, it was precisely this that helped him the most after the death of Farlan and Izabel. She provided him with comfort, help and warmth.  Something no one else could give him. It was thanks to her that he recovered so quickly, and he was in the place where he was at the moment.

At some point their relationship began to take a less formal path. More and more often they stayed at each other's offices, helped each other with Erwin's sentences, that is, documentation. They drank tea together, despite the fact that the brunette was a coffee advocate, she made an exception for Levi and almost completely gave it up. They had similar problems, especially those with sleep, may both of them suffer from insomnia, so when the entire corps was asleep, they sat in the two of them over documents, or simply spent their free time together.

Y/n did not even know the exact moment when she began to care in this other, more intimate way on the short captain. It came overnight. Of course, she was behaving the same as before, after all, she was not some horny teen, but a mature woman, but at the moment when she was going to the black-haired's office, or she just knew that he would see him, her body was flooded with heat. And maybe she wouldn't care so much if it wasn't for the fact that she had short hair.

She loved the short haircut, the long hair simply irritated her and disturbed the soldier's everyday life, but she was afraid that they might be an obstacle to any closer relationship with Ackerman.

***

She sat quietly in her office filling out paperwork for Erwin. She nervously tweaked her hair, which was longer than usual, because every time she tried to cut it, something was getting in the way and that was how it was already quite long.

The silence in the office was broken by the sudden opening of the door through which entered a black-haired man with pliers and a towel in his hand. He closed the door with a bang and set the items on the coffee table, then looked at the woman poring over reports and other documents.

"You have long hair." He said suddenly and walked closer to her chair, and when he was next to him, he entangled his hand in her dark strands. She breathed a breath and leaned against the back of the armchair, massaging her temples at the same time giving herself to the caress.

"I didn't have time to cut them off because of the last expedition, and with all the crap Erwin did, I have more work to do than ever. And Hanji keeps following me all the time and asks if I managed to convince Bushbread to do experiments on titans." She explained in frustration then exhaled her mouth with a whistle.

"Tch, fucking shitty glasses. Come on, rest a little, cut off your hair, and you will give me a haircut." He replied then pulled the woman's chair back and, grabbing her hand, led her to the bathroom. She was so tired of it all that she didn't care, and the presence of a cobalt-eyed woman was calming, so she didn't resist. "Get your hair wet." He gave the order, which she followed by putting her head in the shower and then she wet her hair with a stream of water. Ackermann handed her a towel, which she grabbed and dried her hair.

Let the two go back to the brunette's office, meanwhile she took off her jacket and threw it on the couch, which Ackermann only huffed, but said nothing. She sat down without a word on the low stool that the man had prepared at that time. He ran a hand through her hair a few times and began carefully trimming it.

"Can I ask you a question?" She finally gave up y/n, unable to withstand the silence in the room

"You ask them anyway, so why do you ask me for permission." The bored man replied by which l/n raised the corner of her mouth in a small smile.

"What do you think about women with short hair?" She asked, and black hair stopped breathing for a moment. What the hell was that about? Is this some kind of provocation?

"What am I supposed to think. They are no less feminine because they do not have long hair, their appearance does not define a person." He replied quite neutral, not realizing that he had just kindled a little ray of hope in his friend's heart. "And why do you ask?"

"Because I care about someone, and all in all, I wanted to know your opinion." Ah yes. His heart leapt into his throat, and his stomach seemed to have a 3D maneuvering device.  Someone did she like? But who the hell. After all, the only men with whom she spent time was himself, Erwin, sometimes he encountered Moblit in the company of Hanji and Mike. Who could steal her heart enough to make her care about her hairstyle? Probably Erwin. That fucking perfect general.

Maybe Levi didn't have complexes as such, but he was always a little jealous of Smith. He had a perfect body, he was tall, intelligent, had a high position in the military, and he came from a non-poor family. He was nothing compared to the blonde, he had nothing to offer. And he would like so much to have her with him.

"I'm done." He muttered softly brushing single hairs from the woman's clothes. She got up from the stool and unintentionally combed her dark hair. She looked beautiful, but he wouldn't tell her that.

"Your turn." She said and took the pliers from his hand. This time it was he who sat on the stool. He involuntarily smiled under his breath and closed his eyes at the woman's gentle touch. He was literally like a docile kitten. Why couldn't she be his?

***

He had been avoiding her like plague for about two weeks. He was irritated by the lack of a black-haired woman around him, but he knew that if it was like before, he would take the blow even worse.

A blow that would never come.

Y/n really didn't know what she could do wrong. After all, everything was fine, and then overnight Ackerman began to avoid her. Maybe he just got bored?

At first she explained his ignorance with overwork, in the end everyone in the command had their heads off. But when one day in a row she saw him sitting quietly with Petra, she knew it was not it. By the way, seeing a redhead in his company, something broke in her. What did this teenager have that she did not have? Did their relationship really mean nothing to him? So many questions, so few answers.

And this way almost every evening she landed in Erwin's office with Hanji with a bottle of whiskey or vodka, depending on what Smith had in the bar. Erwin and Hange really couldn't comprehend the change in brunet's behavior, and the sight of a really hurt l/n was so pathetic as to be nasty.

And so the next evening the three gathered in Smith's office where they once again debated about the captain's behavior.

"I do not feel it completely, so change the attitude towards people overnight. 

I know that our curly pedantic has its own rules, but without exaggeration." Hanji announced, finishing the rest of the whiskey from her glass.

"Maybe something made him do it?" Smith replied, then grabbed his chin.

"Tch, and this thing is called Petra Ral, really fascinating." Black-haired girl summed up pouring herself and Zoe whiskey.

Their conversations were so loud that they interested Ackerman who was just about to make himself a cup of tea. But when he heard three familiar voices, he stood at the door of Smith's office, listening to what was being said.

"Don't take it for granted." Erwin said and frowned by the high concentration of alcohol in his glass.

"So what could be the reason Levi is ignoring me then? Just like logic Erwin, there are two options, or he has something to me and he distorts what is unfortunately but impossible because he always treated me only as a friend. Or he just shoots with Petra, and that's what I believe more. "Did they talk about him? What romance with Petra? And y/n cared for him the way he wanted it, but he's just an idiot and he broke it? He held his breath for a moment and tried to enter the room, but stopped himself and continued to stand still.

"Like it or not, I have to agree with the above.  Although I keep my fingers crossed for the first version." Squeaked at the end of the woman, which caused a loud sigh of disapproval from y/n.

"Shut up Hanji, I don't want to hope again for something that will never happen." She growled angry and hurt. She really cared about him. Not on any Erwin, Moblit or Mike, but on him. On a goddamn Underground thief with a hard character and misophobic aspirations. Damn it, don't let this be a dream.

He walked away from the door and headed for his office. He has even forgotten why he left it at all. He sat down at the desk and stared blankly at the sky until the very morning, trying to put everything in his head. He must try to fix what he broke.

***

Like a day like every other day. There was no expedition, no surprises, just an ordinary day in the recon. Well, maybe almost. Because Ackerman had been nervous and a little stressed since the morning. And it wasn't just because he wanted to talk to y/n seriously, but largely because he couldn't find her anywhere. As to spite that day, she sank underground, his only salvation could be Erwin. Which office was on his way to. The evening and dinner time was approaching, so he wanted to come to him before her, to look for the presence of a woman at the last meal, if necessary.

He entered the office without knocking, Smith merely looked up from the mountain of documents he had probably been studying since this morning, then turned him back to the sheets of paper.

"What you want Levi?" He asked breaking the silence prevailing in the room. He was pretty sure why this one had come to him, but preferred not to reveal all the cards at once.

"Where is y/n"?  Erwin sighed and then put down his quill and straightened up in his chair. He was afraid of Levi's reaction, but what could he do if the milk had already spilled?

"She went on a mission. She should be back in two or three days at the most." He replied with a straight face in the middle being a bit irritated by the reaction of the black-haired man.

"What mission? And why the hell didn't I know anything about this." Ackerman asked, very angry with the news once again.

"Maybe because you've been avoiding her for a long time? Maybe because it's a secret mission, I'm not obligated to tell you everything, Levi. I respect you and treat you as a friend, so I will give you some friendly advice. Think about what you really want and don't screw it up. I don't think I need to tell you what I'll do to you if you hurt her, not to mention Hanji." A faint smile affected his lips at the end of his speech.

"It's none of your business anymore. Thank you for the information." He replied coolly and, not worried about the threat of his friend, left his office.

So he was supposed to wait? He hated waiting. Uncertainty burst him from the inside, these few days will probably be a real nightmare for him.

***

It was well past nine o'clock, so most of the Corps' soldiers were resting in their quarters. Only a few officers were still in the courtyard. And Levi was watching them from his office.

Week. She has been gone since fucking week.

And he was consumed not only by uncertainty, but also by fear. Because they didn't know anything, not even Erwin, who entrusted the woman with this mission. Through it all, the captain was irritated and angry from day to night. Everyone wanted to be as far away from him as possible. Even Petra must have found out about his bad mood when some two days after y/n's departure, she felt bad for the fact that she smiled at him instead of focusing on cleaning. The last time he was afraid was when he first left for exeption.

Suddenly, a horse ran into the courtyard, on the back of which was a scout, but he was clearly unconscious, barely clinging to his mount. At first, Ackerman did not move from his place, but when he heard the screams about the return of squad leader l/n and summoning the medics, he sprinted out of the office.

When he was already leaving, he saw only a brunette, which two cadets were carrying on a stretcher to the infirmary. There was blood everywhere, and the worst case scenario flashed through his mind. She might have died.

He knew that they would not let him into the infirmary anyway, and the cadets didn't know anything, the only option was once again Erwin. What a mission it was to make her come back like this.

He hurried to Smith's office and threw open the door. He did not care about the surprised face of Hanji, who was sitting on the blonde's couch, but he walked over to the man and grabbed him tightly by the collar of a white shirt.

"What was that mission? And why did you send her over there alone, don't you care that she's just fighting for her life?" He was screaming at the top of his throat, he didn't care what everyone thought of him right now, he didn't care about the consequences, he only cared that he could lose her before he actually possessed her.

"In Stohess there is a man who leads the gang. It interfered with various shipments and the like. They are also active in the Underground. The task was to diversify into their ranks, apparently she did not quite succeed." He replied with stoic calm which made the black-haired man even more angry.

"Have you been really fucked up? Such a mission is not a job for one person, it is for the rest. Such matters should be handled by the MP's, not us!" He shouted and pushed the blonde back so that he almost fell from his chair.

"Only that they interfered mainly with transports to our corps. Mostly those not entirely legal. You know very well that a large amount of drugs and medical equipment we have is not entirely legal, but it is needed. I wanted to send the two of you on this mission, because both of you know the Underground, but she did not agree to you taking part in this mission. Probably because you were not getting along at that point." The man explained succinctly, and Ackerman said nothing. It was his fault, his goddamn fault. If only he wasn't such an asshole, nothing bad would have happened.

Until now, a silent Hanji came up to the shorter man and put her hand on his shoulder, the latter turned towards her, close to crying. Holy shit what she did with him.

"You'll finish later, for now, go to her." She ordered, and he nodded and without a word headed for the infirmary.

***

"When will she wake up?" He asked one of the medics, who was just finishing treating single wounds on the body of an unconscious woman.

"She should wake up in the morning. But probably not for long, he has to rest a lot now. She lost a lot of blood, it is surprising that she was even going here alive." She replied and got up from the small stool, putting the remnants of bandages and other medicaments on a silver tray. "But take it easy, she will get out of this, squad leader l/n is a damn tough woman, not just character.  She will lick it." She added after a moment with a slight smile on her face trying to cheer the man up.

"I know she's strong." He replied quietly, his head bowed and his hands folded.

"So just be patient. I think she survived because she had someone to return to." She laughed softly and just left the room, leaving the slightly confused captain with the unconscious woman.

He slowly walked over to her bed and sat down next to it on the wooden chair. He grabbed her chilled hand and pressed it to his lips, giving it a tender kiss. He had to wait.

And so the hours went by, and Levi spent them thinking about his feelings for the woman and simply gazing at her adoringly.

She was so beautiful, he loved everything about her. From a smile that could not be seen too often, ending with short hair. He was lazily combing them almost all the time, not being surprised how pleasant they are.  He did not even notice that it was starting to dawn, and the soldiers of the corps were slowly waking up to start another day of service. He also did not notice that Erwin accompanied by Hanji arrived in the room in the meantime, but when they saw the man sitting next to the y/n, they only smiled at each other and left, leaving them alone, of course they gave each other high five for fruitful cooperation.

"Wake up now, because these feelings will blow me up soon." The words were coming out of his mouth involuntarily. His eyes were closed, he tried to focus, to be patient. "I overheard your, Hanji and Erwin conversation about me. I really was an idiot. I shouldn't be away from you, that's why you're here at all. If I hadn't, you wouldn't be lying here, I wouldn't have allowed it. I have plans to blame Erwin for letting you go on this mission alone. But you don't know how much I was bursting from the inside by the thought that you care about someone, and that someone is not me. I was so fucking jealous. Ugh, feelings are a pain in the ass. You don't even know what you're doing with me. I just love you, and I love everything about you." There was a silence in the room, and the man breathed a sigh of relief, finally blurted out into the crowd of thoughts.

"Even my short hair?" Silence, a hoarse voice broke the silence in the room. The man immediately opened his eyes and straightened in his chair, a smile spread across his face at the sight of the woman's open eyes.

"Even short hair." He replied and once again ran his hand through it, and placed the other on her cheek.

"I heard everything, you idiot. Love you too." She said and smiled broadly as he reciprocated.

"I love you too." He replied and pressed their lips together in a kiss.

[wtfwriter]

hey, i was wondering if you could write a fic about will coming out to el and being super upset about it, but el not knowing what being gay is and when will like hysterically explains it to her she has a epiphany where she’s like, i think i like girls

will and el best siblings mwah

also sry for how long this took, getting a year older makes me go into crisis mode lmao i can't even begin to count how many times I started and stopped writing this

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Synopsis: Will comes out to El. She has a few questions.

Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Extra Info: They're in California so this is set between seasons 3 and 4 but El and Mike aren't together, pretend them split bc long distance is difficult or smt idk, Mention of elmax, I also used a very binary way of explaining 'gay' and 'lesbian' but i do 100% support nonbinary lesbians/gay people as i am one lol it was just a bit easier to have it explained that way to Eleven

Warnings: Homophobia, Getting outed (I didn't feel comfortable putting any slurs so don't worry about those if they make you uncomfortable as well)

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This was really Will's worse nightmare. Having so many eyes on him, some with amusement, some with shock, most with disgust was something out of a horror film.

He trudged down the hall of his home in California, hoping to find solace in his room after the day he's had. Jonathan tried to get him to speak on the ride home from school but got nothing more than mumbles and sniffles from the boy.

Will shed his shoulders of his backpack before falling on his bed face first, not caring that he was still wearing his clothes from the day, and smothering his face in his pillow as he finally let the sob rip through him.

There's no word or expression in the english language, maybe any language for that matter, that can begin to describe how terrible this day was.

How the laughs of his classmates reverberated around his head.

The look of humiliation on his face.

The red of his vision from anger.

God, he'd never been so angry.

Never felt so betrayed.

Or humiliated.

And a million other emotions he'd never be able to place.

But he couldn't show that. He'd already made enough of a fool of himself. Thinking he could trust anyone with a secret like that. Will didn't know how he would be able to show his face at that school again on Monday.

But for now, he laid on his bed, trying to muffle his agonizing sobs as best he could from his family.

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Eleven had sat quietly the entire car ride home, not fully understanding what had happened that day. She couldn't find Will at school for a majority of the day and when she saw him in the car, he looked half dead, like he was going to cry so hard his soul would leave his body. When he did speak, very rarely, his voice cracked like it was full of sand. Eleven had offered her water to Will to wash it down but he declined, saying he wasn't thirsty.

To say she was confused was an understatement. To say she was heartbroken for her brother was another. Eleven knew how to physically protect the people she loved, she did it when it was necessary while she had her powers, and she'd do it again in a heartbeat without them. But emotionally, she didn't know much about the world yet to truly understand the gravity of some situations.

She'd heard the whispers about Will, but didn't know what they meant. Most people moved away from her today and so she only caught bits and pieces.

"I can honestly see it."

"Do you see the way he acts?"

"I knew there was something wrong about that guy."

Wrong? Eleven could never look at either of her brothers as something wrong, no matter what. When she looked at Jonathan, she saw a caring older brother who worked hard to provide support for the people he loved. She saw him as the person who put a blanket over you when you fall asleep on the couch. Someone who will wrap you up and tell you everything will be okay eventually.

When she looked at Will, she saw nothing less than the most selfless person she'd ever meet. She saw him as the one light source in a dark hallway. She saw a person with a big heart threatening to burst at even the slightest prick because THAT'S just how much he loves people. Someone who would give the whole world to the people he loves no matter the cost. He loves with his whole being, never just a part.

And so it hurt her beyond anything to see him like this.

When they arrived home, she nearly sprinted to follow him up to his room but Jonathan wrapped his hand gently around the crook of her arm, shaking his head and letting out a sigh.

"Give him a second to calm down."

Eleven nodded before following Jonathan to the kitchen to do a bit of her homework and wait for Will to cool down a bit.

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When Will finally pried his face away from his pillow, he looked out the window to find the sun had already set before turning to his clock and groaning at the time he'd spent crying.

God, that's so pathetic, he told himself.

A quiet knock at his bedroom door caused him to quickly whip his head over to the other side of his bed. He sighed before getting up, wiping his eyes and looking in the mirror to see his disheveled hair which he quickly patted down, and moving to his door. He paused for a second, reaching for the door nob but never truly getting there.

"Will?" Eleven spoke softly. "Are you awake? Are you there?"

Will sighed, putting his forehead onto his door.

"Yeah," his voice cracked. "I'm... I'm here."

"Can you open the door, please? I have something for you."

Will smiled softly at his sister's earnest and hopeful voice before finally reaching for the door nob and turning it.

What he saw made him nearly burst into tears again, but for a good reason.

Eleven had 2 small plates with cupcakes on them in each hand, a soft smile on her face.

"Hi," she said, still using a soft voice.

"Hi."

"May I?" Eleven gestured with her cupcake platters into the room. Will moved slightly to let her in before shutting the door behind her.

Eleven handed one plate to Will, which he took with shaky hands, and set it down on his desk. Eleven frowned at this before placing her's down as well.

She moved towards Will with determination and before Will could protest or even realize what was truly happening, she was hugging him with her arms around his neck, on her tip toes due to their height difference.

It took him a second to reciprocate from shock but eventually his hands encircling her waist and his face finding a place in between her neck and shoulder.

He was sobbing again before he even realized he was crying. Eleven didn't say a word, just held him tighter as Will's arms squeezed her as well.

When his sobs soon diminished to hiccups, she still didn't let go.

"Will?"

She received a hum in response.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

He shakily sighed, took a breath, and began to speak. Messily at first, voice cracking from his scream sobs into his pillow earlier, but soon evening out.

"I had told him this secret a little bit ago. He... He seemed like the only person who I could trust with a secret like that. But... I was wrong. So, SO wrong. He told basically the whole school, right in front of me. No one stopped him, or told him to shut up. I... It was like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I just ran. To the bathroom."

"What was the secret?"

At this Will moved a bit away to look her in the eye. "You... You don't know?"

Eleven tilted her head almost like a curious dog. "No. No one told me. They just whispered and looked away."

"Oh god."

At this he moved back to their previous position and started to cry again.

"I didn't even think about you! I'm so sorry, El!"

"What? Will, no, it is okay! Why are you apologizing to me? They are the ones being... assholes."

Will chuckled through his small sobs at this. El barely swore, other than saying "bitchin'" which she learned last year, so the sentiment was nice.

"I know, I know, it's just... this secret. It's REALLY big for people that are... different. Like... me different. And it can affect their family and friends if other people know."

"Well, I'm different, too, Will."

"No, no I mean a... different kind of different."

"I don't think I understand wha-"

"I'm gay, El."

At this, more sobs ripped through Will as Eleven stood even more confused. She'd never heard of 'gay' and certainly not in the context of her brother. But for now, all she knew was that she needed to comfort him.

"Well, if you are gay, then it is not something bad, right? You can not be something bad, Will. Not to me. No matter what."

"You... You don't know what that means, do you?"

"Um... no?"

Will pulled away from the hug again and rubbed his eyes before grabbing a tissue and blowing his nose. He looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers before talking.

"It... it basically means when you like someone that's the same... gender as you."

"So... you are a boy that likes boys?"

Will looked to the side, took a deep breathe, hiccuped, and then looked Eleven in the eye.

"Yes, I do."

"Oh."

There was a pause before Eleven spoke again.

"So, if I liked girls, I would also be gay?"

"Yes, Eleven. Or you could call it being a lesbian if you only liked girls. There's different terms for different things."

"Oh."

Another pause, the only thing being heard being Will's sniffles and hiccups until he spoke again.

"Um... Why... Why do you ask?"

Eleven didn't respond, seeming to be deep in thought for a moment.

"And why do people see gay as bad?" She finally said.

"I guess some religions tell people it is. Some people see it as unnatural. Or dirty. I don't know, I'm not them so I don't really understand why."

Eleven hummed at that.

"Well, if my brother is gay, then it can't be all of those things," Eleven speaks, softly smiling at Will, who smiles back.

"Thank you, El."

El looked confused. "For what?"

"Being you."

"I do not know how to be anyone else," she laughs.

"Good."

Eleven looks down at her shuffling feet suddenly before starting to talk again.

"Will, how did you realize you were... gay?"

"Uh... well... I don't really know. I kind of just always knew I didn't like girls. But I really knew when I got a crush... on a boy... in middle school."

"Okay."

"Is there something you need help understanding, El?"

Hesitantly, El replies, "If... I were to have a crush on a girl... would that mean I am gay? Even if I did not know before?"

"Of course, El. Some people don't realize it until much later in life. Do you have a crush on a girl?"

El's cheeks light up like Rudolph's nose as she shrugged. "I dunno, maybe?"

Will chuckled, his hiccups having finally subsided. "Mind if I ask who?"

"Max..."

"Well then Eleven, I think that makes you a little bit gay." The siblings chuckled at this and Eleven picks her head up to look Will in the eye.

"But, I thought I really liked Mike when we were dating."

"You can like multiple genders. Or it could've been compulsary."

"Com-pul-sa-ry?"

"Sorry, it means like... you felt like you had to do it. Because it's what people tell you you should do."

"Oh... that makes sense now."

"You don't have to decide your label right now, or ever. But, from what I'm gathering, you like girls?"

Eleven inhaled deeply before responding, "Yeah. Yeah I think I do..."

"That's great, El."

The siblings smiled at each other before hugging once more. After pulling apart, they each reached for a cupcake, taking a bite, and talking for a bit longer.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Supportive Sister Eleven and Big Loving Brother Will my loves <3

Again, so sorry about how long this took but I tried to make it a bit longer with more dialogue :] Have a good day homie <3

[amberbeach]

'WOUNDED'

gif belongs to me

You looked up from where you were recovering from the blast, glancing at Mike and Emily who had also been taken down. You watched as Jayden and Antonio were blasted a few feet away before Kevin landed in front of them, all three groaning in pain.

You knew the Nighlok had another trick up its sleeve and used your sword to get to your feet, darting forward, taking the hit that was meant for the three men.

"No!" Kevin cried out when he saw your body fall, your suit disappearing as you hit the ground. The world around him disappeared as he crawled towards you, turning you onto your back. "Y/N?" He would admit that he panicked when he saw your eyes were closed. "Y/N!"

Just as Jayden got to his feet to fight, the Nighlok disappeared through a crack in the ground and the group rushed over to check on you. Kevin was frozen until he was able to look up at the team, in shock. "She isn't waking up."

"We should bring her to Ji. He'll know what to do." Jayden said, putting a hand on Kevin's shoulder as he cradled you on his lap.

No one had to ask. Although you and Kevin never let your relationship affect your duties as a Ranger or talk about it, everyone knew that you were in love with each other. You spent most of your time training and Kevin felt as if the world had turned upside down, as he was the one who pulled you away to take a break. But now the world really was turned upside down. His world.

Kevin stared, arms crossed, as you slept while Ji explained the extent of your injuries. Kevin felt guilty as he knew you had done it to protect Jayden and Antonio, and him as well.

He walked out and Ji sighed, knowing Kevin especially was affected by your current state. Kevin felt as if his chest was getting tighter with each step he took to the training room. He delivered a rough punch to the punching bag and held it to stop it from swaying.

This was all his fault. If he was stronger, better, then this wouldn't have happened.

Kevin isolated himself for most of the day, avoiding the one place he needed to be, where he wanted to be. But the sight of you, unmoving, broke his heart.

He skipped dinner and finally took a seat by your bedside, taking hold of your hand. "Wake up." He rested his forehead on your joined hands, "Please, wake up."

A few minutes later Kevin heard footsteps and didn't need to lift his head to know it was Mia who had entered.

"I told her I didn't want anyone to know. We were dating and I told her I didn't want everyone knowing." Kevin began.

"I'm sure you had your reasons." Mia slowly sat beside him. "And I'm sure she understood."

"Maybe. All I can think about is the time I've wasted. And I'd give anything to have it back." Kevin said softly.

Mia placed her hands on his shoulder, "Y/N did what any of us would've done. If she hadn't it would be you, Antonio, and Jayden in these beds, and not her. She saved three people, people that she cared about."

"I just want her to open her eyes and give one of her optimistic speeches. I just want her to be okay."

Mia smiled softly, "She will be."

She squeezed his shoulder before leaving Kevin to his thoughts. He fell asleep in the uncomfortable chair, his head on your hips.

For three days he remained by your side, refusing to move unless Ji was checking up on your injuries. He always fell asleep with his head on your hips, his hand holding yours, refusing to let go.

You woke up in the early hours of the morning and as you got your bearings, taking comfort in your surroundings, you looked at the source of the weight on your hips. A smile on your lips when you saw it was Kevin. And judging by his clothes he hadn't changed yet.

You lifted your hand, placing it on the back of his head, causing him to stir. "Kevin?".

His head shot up and a wide smile formed on his lips when he realized you were awake. "Hi," He whispered, moving closer. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." You assured him. You looked at your joined hands with a smile, "Have you been here the whole time?"

He nodded. "I only left when the Nighlok returned."

"Are you okay?" You asked.

"You've been unconscious for three days and you're asking if I'm okay?" Kevin shook his head, "I'm the last thing you need to worry about."

"Well, you're the first." You replied.

He closed his eyes when you placed a hand on his cheek, covering your hand with his hand, feeling his eyes burn from your touch. Something he was starting to believe he would never feel again.

There was a light knock on the door and you smiled when Emily poked her head inside. "Can we..."

Kevin nodded and you were surprised when he held your hand, as the team piled in. You smiled as Emily hugged you and thanked Mia when she handed you some water.

After catching up on everything that happened while you were unconscious, the team left you and Kevin alone, knowing that was what you both needed.

You moved over and patted the space you had made. Kevin laid beside you, wrapping his arms around you as you cuddled into his chest.

You knew you would be out of action until you were fully healed, but if you could spend every moment like this, then you wouldn't mind. But you knew that would never happen. Any second another Nighlok monster could be released, and he would have to go.

He played with your hair, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too."

[infernwetrust]

f**k, i luv my friends [Fem Reader x Michael Langdon x Jim Mason x AHS 1984]

BRIEF INTRO: This takes place in alternate universe, combining Cody’s characters Michael, Jim, Duncan (supporting), and Xavier. The 1984 gang is included as well. The Michael for this series is a cross between Sojourn and F&R.

Summary: You and your best friends gather around the beach for some fun. The beginning of this series.

Warnings: A WHOLE LOTTA CUTE SHIT.

WC: 3.0k

A/N: Holy fucking shit I’m so excited to share this massive series I’m working on with you guys. I don’t know what to call it yet so for now under my master list it’ll be called “THE BESTFRIENDS UNIVERSE”. This was inspired by the artist renforshort and her song “f**k, i luv my friends”. There will be PLENTY of smut, angst, fluff, and MORE across this series. I am so unbelievably excited. If you would like to be in my tag list for this series please let me know! My ask box is open, so if you have any ideas or requests for this series, please, please, please ASK ME. There is no plot to this, therefore there are no limitations. Thank you so much for reading! -Juno

You smiled as you took a sip of the drink your boyfriend, Michael had made you. As you sat in the sand between his legs, him laid out on his beach towel, arms behind his head, eyes closed as he breathed in the ocean air. Your smile grew even wider as you scanned the rest of the beach, spotting the rest of your friend group. There was Xavier and his girlfriend Montana, who stood barely in the water, arms wrapped around each other as they kissed slowly under the sunset. Then there was Jim and his girlfriend Brooke who lay on their surfboards lazily, letting the waves carry them away, being careful not to get too far away. And then Chet and Ray, each with a bottle of Jack in their hand, taking sips as they took selfies and laugh at what you were sure were their usual stupid jokes.

You curled your toes as you took another sip, loving the feeling of the sand between them. How did you get this lucky to have this many people in your life that loved you and you loved them too? What had started as a small friendship with Montana, turned into something so huge. She introduced you to her boyfriend, Xavier, who then introduced you to the rest of their group, including Brooke's boyfriend, Jim. All of you met in freshman year  of college and have been friends since. Michael was the last to enter the picture, but how everything changed when he did.

While you had finally found a stable friend group that you quickly grew to love, you were longing for something a little bit more. And that's when Michael came in and swept you away. He had come in as a transfer student from another college, sophomore year, and what a coincidence that you had him in all of classes first semester. He was a face you saw regularly around campus and you couldn't help but be drawn to his quiet nature. Slowly you began talking to him and you noticed how timid and reserved he was. He didn't really go out of his way to speak to anyone, besides when you would speak to him. He would give half smiles, and either one word or half sentences.

Soon you began walking with him to all your classes, the two of you never leaving each other's side. You'd help him with his homework for a class he didn't understand all too well and in return he would do the same. Lunch and dinner together became a regular thing. Your friends noticed your interest, often glancing at the two of you from another table afar, giving smiles and making stupid faces. When it came down to exams, you two met up every night 2 weeks prior, in the library, studying diligently, learning from each other's notes. He opened up to you rather quickly after that and when you were sure that he was comfortable enough you introduced him to everyone else, who immediately took a liking to the blonde boy with the soft, but vibrant blue eyes.

It was the small and subtle acts between the both of you, that drew you closer together. When you could sense that Michael was getting overwhelmed in a social setting, your hand found it's way into his, giving him a reassuring smile before the conversation continued. Or how when he spoke to you, you tuned everyone else out in the room to let him know that it was about him and no one else. It was you rubbing his back when he got frustrated, throwing his textbooks to the floor because he simply did not understand or when he would get into a spat with his older brother, Duncan over the phone.

It was him, picking up your favorite snack and coffee from the grand cafe before your 8AM. It was him, walking you back to your residence hall in the middle of the night to ensure that you made it safely. It was the way his blonde hair moved with the wind, the endless laughter, the stressful nights. Before you knew it, you had fallen in love with Michael. 9 months of an unbreakable bond.

You still remember the first time he kissed you. Both of you stood drunkenly in the middle of a frat party, not really wanting to be surrounded by the crowd of sweaty bodies and other screaming young adults. You screamed in Montana's ear over the loud music that you and Michael were going to step outside for some fresh air. She drunkenly gave you a thumbs up, not be able to remove her lips from Xavier's who roughly grabbed at her ass, pulling her closer into him. You finally felt like you could breathe once the cool air hit your skin.

As you stared out into the distance, you couldn't help but feel like a set of eyes were burning into your skin. When you turned your head, you met Michael's gaze and before you could even ask him what was wrong his lips were on yours. He quickly pulled back, shocked by what he did and he moved his lips to say sorry, but you grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him back towards you. A fire danced inside the both of you as he wrapped his arms around you, you doing the same. You could feel yourself melting away at his touch, his soft lips against yours, the occasional brushing of noses. For the first time, this was a kiss that felt right. You felt safe in his hands and knew you wanted to be his.

"Y/N!" Xavier called out to you, immediately snapping you out of your thoughts. The air had gotten a little bit cooler, which you welcomed. You looked over in his direction. He motioned the action taking a picture with a camera, and bringing his fingers to his lips like he was smoking. This signaled to you that he wanted you to come over with your Polaroid camera and that he going to light another joint. You enthusiastically gave him a double thumbs up, letting him know that you'd be over there soon.

You turned around to look behind you, down at Michael who looked so peaceful as he became one with the beach. His mouth hung open slightly and you knew that he was falling asleep, which caused you to giggle, moving a strand of his hair behind his ear.

"Hey..." you said softly, running your hands down his chest, watching as his eyes quickly fluttered open in a daze. He groaned sleepily, a smile forming on his face when he looked into your eyes. He grabbed onto your hands, holding them in place and running his thumbs along them. "Don't tell me that you're falling asleep already. Our night hasn't even really begun."

"I was resting my eyes." he said, chuckling a little bit at his obvious lie.

"You can do that for the rest of the night when we get back. Xavier wants to take pictures."

"Why is he so obsessed with taking pictures?" Michael questioned, propping himself up on his elbows as you rose to your feet, dusting the excess sand off you. He couldn't help but bite his lip as your bikini top fit you perfectly, combined with the booty shorts you wore that was snug to your figure. He ran his hand through his messy hair, sighing.

"We're making memories Michael." you answered. "I don't want to hear anything when you literally have all the Polaroid pictures I took of us and everyone else scattered around your dorm room and on your car dashboard. You love taking pictures as much as he does. You're just feeling lazy."

"You enjoy reading me to filth, don't you?"

"Only sometimes." You walked over to your belongings, grabbing your camera and your tripod. Michael soon got up, also dusting the sand off of himself, shaking his hair in the process before following you down to where everyone else was.

"We were hoping you two would join us soon." Montana said, smiling at you and Michael. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into a tight hug that you gladly returned.

"Well don't you look more alive than ever, Mike." Xavier said to his friend. "Enjoy your nap? I mean we've been here for like what, an hour?"

"Fuck you, Xavier." Michael said, shoving him playfully in his shoulder earning a smirk from him. "It could have been a longer nap. It should have been."

"You don't want to miss out on this do you?" Xavier questioned, waving the joint in front of Michael's face. "It's your favorite strain, wedding cake."

"I suppose you have a valid claim." Michael answered, reaching for the joint, but couldn't grab it because someone else did.

"Don't mind if I do." Jim said, grabbing the joint out of Xavier's hand, immediately putting it between his lips and lightning it.

"Eager are we?" you asked Jim as you set the camera up, earning a smile from him as he stuck his tongue out at you, walking back over to Brooke who now stood only a few feet away, conversing with Chet and Ray.

"That's why I rolled two." Xavier said, taking another one from behind his ear and handing it to Michael. "Too many of us for just one, right?"

"More like Jim will inhale half of it before passing it to anyone else." Montana chimed in, rolling her eyes as she rested her elbow on Michael's shoulder, letting the smell of the freshly lit joint consume her.

"That sounds more like it." Michael said as he exhaled, passing it to Xavier.

"I strive to be a stoner like him though." she continued. "Detached from reality for most of the day, but still functional? That sounds like heaven."

"No it sounds like Jim's tolerance is through the roof." you said, to which Xavier nodded in agreement.

"He's been smoking since he was like 12. I'm jealous." Xavier said, handing the joint off to Montana who took a few hits before passing it to you. As you inhaled, you felt your body relax tremendously. A few more hits and the joint was back in Michael's hand.

"Okay everyone!" you yelled, getting everyone's attention. "Camera is all good to go!" You took a couple pictures of Montana and Xavier, your heart too warm at their various poses. He would wrap his arms around her from behind or she would climb on his back, wrapping her arms around his chest. A couple of off guards of the two were taken as well. You told them to act natural, just to converse with each other as you snapped pictures. Pictures of you and Michael followed. He made sure to always make a statement in the pictures that he took with you. He stood behind you, a hand wrapped gently around your throat as he snapped your head back to make you look at him, blissful smiles on both of your faces.

"Hey!" he yelled towards Jim who had his phone in his hand, taking Snapchats of everyone and posting them to his story. "Take a picture of Y/N and I like this. I want to post it to my Instagram." Jim gladly did as Michael asked, immediately sending the photo to him after so that he would have it to post later. The next picture was simple. You and Michael stood next to each other, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and yours wrapped around his waist, the both of you giving a soft smile. The final picture was of him holding you in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist as you pressed your lips against his, the both of you smiling in the kiss.

Jim and Brooke were wild and spontaneous and you loved it. Taking pictures of them were by far your favorite. Brooke held Jim in a headlock, a wild smile across his face and gripped onto her arm as you took the picture. Then she got on his shoulders, Jim holding her securely in place as her hands laid in his hair. Their last picture was of them, backs to the camera as they held hands, staring off into the sunset. You quickly turned the tripod around, taking an off guard of everyone who sat to the side around the fire. Xavier held the joint in his hand, mid sentence in conversation with Chet. Ray, Montana, and Michael were laughing their asses off at God knows what. All the emotions you were feeling inside, you swear you could cry at the sight. You fucking LOVED your friends.

You gathered all the boys up for their group photo. Xavier stood next to Jim, arm around his shoulder, hand slightly over his chest. Next to Jim was Ray, with a tooth pick in his mouth as he leaned into Jim's shoulder, his arms crossed over his chest. Michael stood next to Ray, his hand place on Ray's head as if he were holding a basketball, his other arm wrapped around Chet's shoulder, hand perfectly displaying a middle finger in the middle of Chet's chest.

"God, I fucking love y'all." Brooke said as she stood behind you, watching you take the picture.

"They're cute, aren't they?" you asked, putting on your best focused face as you snapped the picture. You told them to hold their pose as you snapped a couple more, wanting everyone to have a copy of that picture.

"Too cute for their own good." Montana said. "A bunch of shit heads."

"Our shit heads." you said. "Okay guys! Just two more. One of us girls and then all of us together and then we can figure out plans for dinner!" You bit your lip, holding hands with Brooke and Montana as the 3 of you stepped in front of the camera. Montana stood in the middle of you and Brooke, throwing her arms tightly around your shoulders, bringing the two of you closer to her. She stuck her tongue out for the photo, while you held up a peace sign with your hand, a wide, closed eyed smile on your face. Brooke held onto Montana's arm, her own wide, but opened eyed smiled, forming across her face. You can tell that Michael had taken a few extras for everyone else, consider how many time the cameras flashed behind your closed eyes.

Finally, the moment you, and you're sure everyone else was waiting for. The big, family, photo. Xavier and Chet took the ends. And in this order everyone stood: Xavier, Montana, You, Michael, Brooke, Jim, Ray, and Chet. You set the timer on the camera, all 9 of you trying to come up with different poses quickly for the camera. Your favorite one as you went through them had to be the one where you and Michael sat in the sand in front of Brooke and Jim who now stood between Xavier and Ray. He let you wrap your arms around his torso, your nose nestled perfectly into his cheek as you gave him a small kiss. 

"Okay." Xavier sighed as he hopped into the drivers seat of Jim's midnight blue Tahoe. Jim himself in the passenger seat. Brooke and Montana took the second row. You and Michael snuggled together comfortably in the very back row, your feet sprawled out in Chet and Ray's laps as they both got lost in their phones scrolling through Facebook and sharing memes with each other, which reminded Michael to post the picture of the two of you Jim had sent to him. "Anyone have any dinner ideas before we leave? Anyone in the mood for anything particular?"

"Honestly could just keep it classic and go for a burger and a shake right now." Ray said from the back.

"Ooo, from where though?" Jim asked, turning around to look at him. "That shake sounds really fucking good. Chocolate shake. I want a chocolate shake."

"Tommy's!" Montana, Brooke, Ray, and Chet said in unison.

"Michael? Y/N?" Xavier questioned, pushing his sun glasses down so he could look at the both of you.

"A cookies and cream milkshake is calling my name right now." Michael said as his hand lazily brushed through your hair.

"You had me at burger." you agreed.

"Tommy's it is." Xavier said, finally starting Jim's car, his blue LED strips, dimly illuminating the car, the last song on his phone beginning to play as Xavier single-handedly backed out of the parking space.

Despite how tired everyone was, the car ride was far from silent. For the first 30 minutes anyways. It would take over an hour and a half before you all got back into downtown LA. You finally sat up in your seat, Michael throwing his arm around your shoulder to keep you close to him. So needy , you thought, but you loved that about him. He always wanted to be close to you. He always wanted to touch you. He made sure you felt loved and secured. You watched at the front as Jim and Xavier currently sang and half danced to the song that played. You glanced at Brooke and Montana who had fallen asleep rather quickly, heads leaned against the car window. Chet and Ray had resorted to playing Among Us to pass the drive time, Michael soon joining them.

"Okay, fucking seriously." Michael said as he furrowed his eyebrows, pissed that he was killed by the imposter yet again. And the imposter just happened to be Chet, but of course he kept silent, not wanting to alert Ray. You giggled to yourself, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. You wiped them anyway, inhaling deeply before exhaling.

"Everything alright?" Michael asked, noticing your change of mood. "Why are you crying?" He made sure to whisper, not wanting to draw attention to the both of you.

"Michael." you said. "I love you."

"I love you too, Y/N." he smiled.

"And all of our crazy friends."

"I love them too." he laughed.

Fuck, I love my friends

Without them, I'd be dead

I know they're the only ones who'll love me till the end

We're all such a mess, lonely and depressed

Been so long and I can't wait to see them again

Fuck, I love my friends

Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @whatcodysaid​ @theneverendinghunger​ @fernfiction

Again, let me know if you would like to included in the tag list for this series!

[sophiawithnopales]

Pairing: Jean Kirstein x Reader

fluff, imagine, what could have been, femenine reader,

Words count: 1901

• ⌜ ✧Heavenly✧ﾟ. °⌟ •

and you were there, somehow letting that big pain go away and thinking about what the hell was going on, a few moments ago you were dying in a titans mouth after you got eated but the only thing you could think about while you were traveling in a white, peaceful and comfortable light was "where am I going?".

At this moment you had already lost your entire squad: beginning with Marco a few years ago inside the walls and ending with Mikasa and Armin trying to protect Eren (who by the way was killed a moment after you passed away); Jean, your biggest and only hope in life, the light of your eyes but also the man you were gonna marry after an entire life of being meeting each other, died a month ago with Connie when they were fighting with their best in the middle of the war, Sasha your best friend, received a shoot and you can remember that painful day so good as if it was a recent memory, Mikasa and Armin were tragically shot more than 7 times, Historia died in the middle of her birth and you can still remember how caotic everything got after be losing our queen, Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie even if that was hard to believe to everybody else died trying to avoid Levi's and Hange's deaths, Erwin was crushed by a rock, Ymir, Marco and Hange died in a titans stomach and Levi.... he fought until he could and then passed away... everything so tragic and fast... so dark but never enough for this cruel life.

Mikasa and Armin, sadly but true, arrived a moments before to their destiny.

"Who's over there?" A familiar voice sounded on Mikasa and Armin's ears

"Calm down Levi"

"L-levi? E-Erwin?"

"Huh? Armin...? OH MY GOD ARMIN IS HERE.... AND HE IS WITH MIKASA..." Annie shouted and for the first time in a long long long time she smiled when she saw the short blonde boy

"What the heck is this? Where we are Armin?" Mikasa took Armin's hand and hugged his shoulder, she looked shocked and scared, something that Armin never thought he would be able to see.

"Is okay Ackerman, you are safe... you just don't need to fight no more" Erwin said in a tone that sounded so warm and after that he got closer to them and gave them a big welcome hug that just felt so good, so comfortable, so much as a sense of family, like a father who hugs his kids in a rainy and dark night and there, Mikasa understood everything, indeed... they were safe.

"Come on guys, come and have some fun with us, we were just playing here in the beach..." Hange said so happy and when Erwin ended the hug, Armin tried to focus his view in the others and scratched his eyes trying to convince him that it was not a beautiful dream

"What's up boy? You think we are not real, aren't you?" Ymir asked in a funny tone

"Yeeeeessss, please tell me that I'm not dreaming one of the happiest dreams in my life..."

"Indeed Armin, welcome to the heaven" Sasha said in a weird voice making a funny hand gesture with Connie when she arrived to the word "heaven".

"How have you been? What happened down there? What happened with Eren? Do you know what happened with y/n? We won? Our deaths really worth it?"

"Hey Jean.... relax... give them a minute to try to understand what is going on"

"I'm sorry Marco but they were the last ones who actually saw her and I wanna know how's my girl..."

"Isn't that enough with be trying to protect her as much as you can when you have permission to go down?"

"S-shut up Rein-"

"We lost the war Jean" Mikasa said in a sad tone giving the group her back looking at the edge of the "heaven" and continued "W-we....we died trying to protect Eren but when we lost him because we got distracted somebody shot us several times until we passed away"

Armin exhaled heavily and sitted in the sand.

"The last thing we knew about y/n was that she was lidering Jean's squad and she got trapped by a titans hand.... we don't know exactly if she survived but I heard when one of her soldiers said that she got an arm and a leg broken and we exactly heard when the titan crushed her until her ribs got broken too so..." Mikasa turned around and began to walk to Jean's place "I-I'm sorry Jean" She didn't said anything else and just gave him a big hug while she started crying, Jean was nothing else than pain and tears because he wasn't able to imagine the girl he loved the most be suffering that bad...

On the middle of that sad moment Jean noticed a familiar smell, he didn't knew if he was getting insane or something but he could swear that it was his lovers perfume or that familiar smell she used to had always and made him go crazy each time they were together...

"Thank you for being protecting her all this time guys."

After being listening to the last voice of a soldier that you couldn't recognize begging you to still fighting inside the titans mouth you stopped hearing everything and now there was only one hugging silence mixed with a warm weather and a pretty bright light that was letting you blind but at the same time was throwing away all the pain and the concern,,,, you were crying thinking about how miserable and sad your life was but tons of memories ran away in your mind trying to convince you to just concentrate on the happy moments like when you met Jean for the first time and even if his name was pronounced as "Jan" you loved to annoyed him and call him instead "Jin" or when you were 17 and tried to organize a small night party inside the walls to try to get relaxed and forget about all the problems outside and as the guys were dancing and laughing and talking you were just dancing a slow and pretty song under the moon and stars shine with Jean when he asked you to be his girl and you proudly said yes; the moments you spent with Mikasa, Sasha, Historia and Ymir doing your stuff, the day you saw Armin's face watching the sea for the first time or the days you loved to be with Sasha, Connie and Jean making fun of yourselves and doing crazy shits, the day before Jean's death when in front of the sea he tried his hardest to make you feel happy and he proposed you to marry him with his mother's ring after the war gets finished without be knowing that that night would be the last one you would be spending together, the last one you would be feeling him inside you , filling you up at the only way he knew.... but when you heard that first sound of a wave crushing with a rock and more water and a couple of laughs and happy shouts like "Sash... look behind" "Agggggh Ymir stop carrying me!!" "Erwiiiiiin, Liiiiiivai... look at the stars" a weird sensation ran over your body and you asked again

"Where am I?"

"Who's coming there Marco? What was that sound?" Jean said while he was looking at Marco and grabbing the ball in his hands

"JEAN LOOK.... WHO'S HERE??" Marco said running to your position helping you to stand up and trying to help you understand what was going on.

Just like 5 minutes after Eren appeared by your side but he didn't looked hurted or in pain anymore, he didn't looked tired and he was with that young image you could remember perfectly of him, not a long long hair and a weird moustache, just that long enough hair tied in a messy bun and a relaxed face, he was layed in the... sand?? and then "EREH" Mikasa run with Armin to try to help him

"Hey smol y/n... you missed me?"

"M-Marco?? Holy shit... I- I just-"

"Quiet girl, I know this can be a little bit messy the first moments but look who's here.... we are all together after so many years honey"

Jean was standing in the same place he was with the ball in his hands, crying in silence.... happy because you were here but sad because you passed through hard things to arrive there

"Where am I? What are you doing here? A-am I dead?"

"I know it can be hard smol girl but yes... we are all dead-" Marco was interrupted

"You are in the heaven" and then Sasha and Connie made the same gestures they made with Mikasa and Armin

"Where's Jean?" you took Marco's hand to stand up and shaked thesand that was on the pretty white dress you were wearing

"Ow yes... he is over there" that was definitel an answer you were not expecting to receive and when Marco pointed at the specific direction and Connie move aside you saw him as the same way you remembered... pretty light brown eyes, messy light brown mullet, perfect nose, kissable lips, greek god body and beautiful voice

"Jean...? oh mY LORD JEAN" and you started crying immediately while you where trying to run to his place

"y-y/n" he started crying too and left the ball fall in the sand, he opened his arms and waited until you arrived to give you the best hug you could ever ask "Y-you are here, holy shit you are here and you are fine" he couldn't believe that and while he was speaking he was grabbing your head with his both hands "You are finally here babe"

"Yes my love, I'm here finally"

And he gave you another big hug "You made a good work, I'm your fan number one princess... you were just so brave and you face all that by your own..."

"What are you talking about Jin?"

"Mikasa and Armin told us everything you made down there alone, I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you but I never asked to be killed by somebody that I did even kne-"

You were crying yet and you grabbed his head with your hands looking at his face just to kiss him and holy shit, you really needed to kiss him after one month and 5 days of being losing him

"I missed you y/n, I missed you so much" he put his forehead with yours and grab both sides of your head with his hands

"I missed you too Jeanbo"

"Please promise me this time that we won't leave each other alone again..."

"I just wanna stay here in this heavenly place with you till the end of times"

And then all of your group walked with the rest... all of them were there... Nanaba, Mike, Petra, Hannes, Moblit, Thomas, Hitch, Lynnes... all of them were there safe and happy and you refused to spent the night and maybe the rest of your existance in that heavenly world that looked as a beautiful and magestical floating island in the middle of the hope and peace.

Omg, I'm sorry for the bad spelling but I'm not a native English speaker and I really really tried to make my best writing in this language.

Also is the first time I write a history like this with them and in here, I'm kinda knew and I really don't know how to make this good.

[wendystales]

Memories - lrh (Chapter Three)

Memories (also on Wattpad)

Chapter Two ※※※※※ Chapter Four

My mother spent the night with me and early in the morning I managed to convince her to go home and sort out her own things. Stephen was supposed to arrive at 8 am and I didn't want her here when that happened, she wouldn't like to see him at all.

“If there's anything I'll call, you can go, really.” I assure her, who goes reluctantly.

The clock struck five to eight and I was for the thousandth time running my hands through my hospital gown and my hair. My hands were sweating and my stomach was churning, I stared at the door as if I wanted to open it with the power of my mind, until it opened.

It was shocking to see him so different from what I remembered. His hair was shaved and bleached, almost white. Now he had a colorless rose on his neck that took up half of his left side and a piercing in his septum. He was a different person, just like me, it really had been years.

“Only Marnie McGonagall manages to remain exuberant even all run down.” he cracks a wide smile to break the tension. “These are for you!” he hands me a bouquet of daisies. They're not my favorite, but I thank him.

“Thank you, they are beautiful. Thank you for coming.” I try to control my breathing. It's all so strange.

“I was surprised by the call, I swore that after you left you would never speak to me again.” he throws himself on the chair beside the bed.

“So our breakup was real?”

“Yes, but not the way you were told, you met this famous guy and fell for him. We had already broken up when I started going out with Bethany.” he talks as if he is talking about the weather. The mention of him and Bethany together makes me nauseous, maybe it was jealousy.

“My mother talked about cheating, that I caught you guys.” I introduce the subject calmly, I know how much Stephen hates to be accused of anything. He rolls his eyes like he' s saying ‘I knew it.’.

“It impresses me that you buy that, Lizzie. You know how much your parents hate me. You broke up with me, that's true, but because you met this guy. He bewitched you, and it wasn't easy to get over you.”

I take a deep breath trying to control myself. It was too much information, too much information. I had broken up with Stephen for Luke, this didn't make any sense. I loved Stephen, I still do. Maybe this memory loss was a chance for us to get back to the way things were before.

“Did you and Bethany...?”

“No! It didn't work out, then she moved to Canada with her family, it wasn't going to work out, and deep down…” he comes closer, sitting on the bed and holding my hand. “I still love you.”

I open my mouth, but can't say anything, the statement takes me in total surprise. Stephen seizes the moment and kisses me. Nostalgia overwhelms me and all the moments we have lived through take over my mind, but deep, deep down, something screams in my head, it wasn't right, it didn't feel right. It wasn't him.

I lower my head breaking the kiss, feeling more lost than before. Stephen holds himself in place, but my urge is to push him away. Something bubbles up inside me and it is not happiness or passion.

“I think it's time for you to go.” I let out a harsher tone than I expected. I still don't face his eyes, maybe out of fear, maybe because I can't bear to look at him.

“You call me here and send me away like this?” he asks incredulously and offended. “You are unbelievable, Marnie. I don't know why I still waste my time with you. Your memory may have faded, but deep down you are still under his spell.” at that moment I abruptly turn my face to meet his. I know that my eyes are burning with anger, and so are his.

“I said, it's time for you to go.” I say in a broken voice, listening to my heartbeat rise.

Stephen stares for a few seconds before he gets up, picks up the daisies, and slams the door. I sink into bed, trying to calm myself. It really wasn't one of my better ideas to call Stephen here, but maybe it was necessary.

I turn on the TV and flip through the channels until I notice a picture of me. I go back to the channel and turn up the volume. They are talking about my accident and without me being able to prepare myself, they play the video of how it all happened.

I hold my breath as the pickup truck crashes into my side, causing my car to spin on the road and crash into the pole. They play it one more time, but in slow motion. The tip of my nose tingles and my eyes start to fill up.

Still watching the TV, my mind brings back the moment of the accident.

"I crank up the starter and before I can send the audio, I feel a loud impact on my left side. A deafening noise fills the entire car. Quite faintly, I watch the track spin and feel the shards of glass hit me, before I give myself over to that uncontrollable sleep."

The video changes and they show my attending, I cover my mouth, watching my unconscious body being pulled from the car.

My stomach clenches and I feel like vomiting from the nervousness. I turn off the TV and grab my cell phone, going back to researching my life in an attempt to distract myself.

Unlike yesterday, I Google my name and see what headlines pop up about me. Some sites give a brief summary of my trajectory, which helps me a little.

I watch some videos of rehearsals, interviews, fashion shows, even those videos of paparazzi leaving restaurants, with him. I look again at Instagram calmly, photo by photo, video by video, even the stories archives. There are several parties, trips, slumber nights, bts from photo rehearsals, and a lot of stuff with him, again. Of course, he is your boyfriend. Asshole!

I barely recognize myself on the screen. The Marnie I watch is outgoing, funny and charismatic, and I was never like that, at least as far back as I can remember. Which leads me to believe that this Marnie, model, famous and full of important friends, is a character.

Leah, Noah, Calum, Ashton, Mike and Kyleen. They don't just seem like friends, they seem like my family, brothers, I don't know. While it is fun to watch some of these videos, of all of us fooling around and messing up, on the other hand it hurts not to have any memories of them.

“How is my little girl doing?” I snap out of my trance and run my eyes to the door. I feel my eyes water as I recognize the middle-aged man.

“Dad!” I hadn't realized the urge to cry until I saw him. Until I felt his embrace.

“ It's okay, my love. I'm here. It's going to be all right, I swear!” he comforts me while I soak his shirt.

“ I'm sorry.” I pull away, trying to control my tears.

“For what?” he looks at me curiously. I shrug, not knowing what to say. Lately I feel I have to apologize for everything. “Honey, none of this is your fault. This amnesia is just a sequel, in a little while it will go away and you will remember everything.”

“I hope so. Even because everything I've forgotten has been very hard to remember.” I comment, playing with the bar of the blanket.

“ It's been a busy three years. You went from just my little girl, to one of the top models of 2019. That's quite a breakthrough.” he laughs, which makes me crack a smile. Only my dad could make me find that funny.

“Apparently I'm dating a rock star.” I join in with him.

“A very nice guy, I must say. He gave me a Gibson guitar.” he widens his eyes, emphasizing how awesome that was.

“Dad, you play guitar?” that would be nothing compared to what I couldn't remember.

“No, but it is amazing to have it on the wall.” for the first time since this whole nightmare, I allow myself to laugh.

My father spent the rest of the morning with me. He told me about his new job and how he was traveling the world now, helping his boss. I don't know how my mother was dealing with all this, she hated to be away from him.

“Mom must not like this new job of yours at all, huh?” I ask, scraping my red Jell-O.

I glare at my father when I notice his silence. We were sharing the bed space, he also had a Jell-O and we looked like two little girls gossiping while stuffing themselves with ice cream. I find his silence strange and wonder if something is wrong.

“Dad?” I call him once more.

“I was trying to find the best way to tell you this.” he sits up straight.

“What? Did you and Mom have a fight?” that was normal, not that big a deal.

“No! Actually, a little more than two years ago, your mother and I talked and we thought it was better to go our separate ways... with different people.” he speaks very slowly, calmly, and a little fearfully. I blink a few times, taking in the words and what they meant together. They got divorced?

I sit up like him, feeling uneasy. I start to breathe deeply. My relationship went down the drain. My parents broke up. Bethany disappeared across Canada. Nothing, absolutely nothing, that I had before had survived.

“Honey?” he brings me back to reality.

“Why? What? What happened?’ I ask. He opens his mouth a few times, saying nothing, trying to find what to say.

“Things were not going very well anymore. We were arguing too much and not even looking at each other anymore.” he takes a deep breath, visibly uncomfortable. “And I had an affair with a woman from my old job, that was the end of it.” he says so low, I can hardly hear, and honestly, it was better not to listen.

I always grew up thinking that my father was the best man in the world. My superhero. Prince Charming from all the Disney movies. The kind of man I would like to meet in my life. And then I find out that my father was none of these things. He is just like all the others.

“How could you?” disgust overflows in my mouth. “You have a family.” again something bubbles up inside me.

“I have no excuse, no justification, I was wrong and I regret the way things turned out. It didn't have to be this way. Okay, today your mother and I are friends and we go our separate ways, but there was no need for all that suffering to happen.” he stares again at the jelly, ashamed.

Silence fills the room. Nobody knows what to say. I don't recognize the man next to me. I don't even know what is going on in my head at the moment, there are so many thoughts and assumptions that I feel like I'm going crazy.

“Have you found someone yet? I mean, are you still with that woman from your old job?” I ask softly, poking the skin on my finger.

“No, she was just a fling. It didn't work out. Your mother was seeing someone until last month, but apparently it didn't work out.” he shrugs, which shocks me a little. I know it's so natural for them, but I'm still absorbing it here. “I met someone, Meredith. We've been together for a year now.” he gives me a beautiful, passionate smile. “Let me show you some pictures.” He gets as excited as a teenager. “Unless you don't want to.” he looks at me fearfully.

“I want to.” I crack a tight smile.

My father is back to being the excited teenager as he shows me the pictures of Meredith and her children. Children?

“They're yours?” I ask slightly jealous.

“No, Kendall and Samantha are from her first marriage, they are twins.” he smiles. “But I love them as if they were my own, the same way I love you.” he gives me a kiss on the side of my head.

He passes me another picture and my heart races as soon as I see them both, he on my lap and she on Luke's lap. I hold up the cell phone and stare at the picture with an ache in my chest.

“This was at my wedding, you both looked beautiful.” my father comments softly. I bite my lip, trying to control my crying and smiling at the same time. We really did look beautiful.

“I always wanted to have brothers, remember?” I ask with my voice shaking. I pass another picture and now my father and Meredith are posing with the four of us.

“They think you are the best big sister in the world.” I grimace, letting the tears come over me. They are not from sadness. Honestly, I don't even know what they are from, but the feeling is good.

Around lunchtime my father left, as he was exhausted, he had come straight here from the airport after a 12 hour flight. I was alone for the rest of the afternoon reading, until my mother arrived at 4pm to pick me up.

When we left the room, I noticed that Luke didn't come, which I find strange, since I remember my mother had commented that he was coming with her.

“He had an upcoming incident with the band, but he should be at your apartment later.”

The fact that I have to wait longer to talk to him makes me nervous and anxious. I just wish he would show up soon so he could help me with everything and clear up the sea of curiosity.

Along the way, I am talking to my mother about her and my father. I was so distracted by the conversation that I didn't even notice when we arrived in front of a beautiful building.

“Are you sure we are at the right address?” I ask looking out the window. My mother laughs and gets out of the car. I live here?

When we get to my floor, I realize that there is only one apartment per floor. We must be at the wrong address. My jaw drops as I enter the hall of the apartment.

Right away I find a huge painting of myself on the wall to my left. I was wearing that strange make-up and an even stranger outfit. The tone is black and white, but I am sure that the color picture is very colorful.

“This was the picture of your first magazine cover.” my mother clarifies with a huge smile on her face. I stare at my picture again, still frowning.

I follow my mother into the living room, once again letting my jaw drop. I had a living room right at the entrance, to my right was the living room with a huge TV, and to my left was the dining room. Slowly, I walk through the space, looking at everything breathlessly.

“Is this my apartment?” I ask in surprise. My mother lets out a short laugh before confirming. “I bought it?” she nods. “With my money?” she nods again. “As a model?” she laughs. “Okay! This is still too much for me.”

I walk curiously around the apartment again, looking at the kitchen, living rooms and, of course, the bedrooms. Two guest rooms and mine. When I reach the second floor, I am confronted with a hallway full of pictures. They range from personal photos to work photos. I pay more attention to the pictures of me and Luke. We are a beautiful couple.

I go into my room and find everything arranged. I let the excitement take over me when I see the closet. I look at the clothes, amazed, besides several boxes of brands like Gucci, Prada and Chanel still unopened.

On the last shelf, I see an older looking box, the slightly faded color catches my eye. I pull out a small ladder and carefully pull the box onto my lap, it wasn't heavy, but doing this with a broken arm and a twisted leg is not easy.

I sit down on the closet floor itself and open the box, wishing I hadn't seen it and maybe never opened it. I gently run my hand over those little souvenirs with tears in my eyes once again. I need to stop crying.

Movie and concert tickets, dried flowers, empty peanut cans, cards, cabin photos, and beer caps, everything I lived through with Luke. The feeling that takes over me is almost suffocating. My body feels and radiates all that it represented, but my mind would not let the image load.

Underneath it all, I pull out a diary and, at the same time that curiosity eats away at me, fear also takes over. I close my eyes and open to a random page.

"I can't believe I modeled at NYFW. OMG! OMG! OMG! It's unbelievable. I'm going to need to watch the runway show about a thousand times before I can believe it."

I flip back a few sheets and stop when I see Luke's name.

"I know it's not a good sign that I'm thinking about him and being so close to him, but I can't help it. Luke is amazing. The way he looks at me, how he listens to me, how he understands me, and his kiss...I can't forget his kiss..."

“Sweetheart?” I hear my mother scream. I wipe away the tears and put the little box under the skirt of some dresses. I get up as fast as I can and walk to the bedroom door.

“Yes?”

“I thought I'd help you in the shower, what do you think? Get rid of that hospital smell.” I accept the idea, which sounds very good.

After a good shower, I put on some pajamas and get to know my room, opening all the drawers, looking at all the makeup, everything. I decide not to go through that box anymore, because I still don't know how to manage everything it represents.

Once again my mother calls me and I believe it's for dinner, but when I get to the living room I find a brunette girl and a guy with red hair.

“Hi?” I nod gracelessly.

“Hi!” they return the greeting a little nervous too.

I ‘know’ who they are. Ashton and Leah. They are in several pictures in my social networks, in my hallway and on the living room furniture.

I watch the brunette with long hair, crack a huge smile. I watch her fingers tightening, like a child trying to control herself. I smile fearfully, but it was enough for her to apologize before squeezing me in a hug.

“I know you don't remember me, but I am your best friend and I am so glad that you are okay.” I look at my mother, who is smiling, and at Ashton, with my eyes wide and patting her on the back.

“Leah, you don't have to suffocate her.” Ashton comments without manner, scratching his forehead.

She walks away gracelessly. I give her a smile, but thank her for the space. Ashton approaches a little fearfully and holds out his hand, respecting my space, but it is apparent that he also wants to give me a hug.

“You can hug me, I don't bite.” I joke, trying to break the tension.

He says nothing more and surrounds me with his arms. Unlike Leah, I manage to return the hug in the right way. His hug takes longer and I feel some tears on my shoulder.

“I thought we were going to lose you.” he squeezes me one more time, before pulling away, drying his tears clumsily.

“You won't get rid of me that easily.” I blink at them both.

“Well, the reason we came here was not just to see you. Of course we were worried to death and everyone wanted to come.” Leah begins.

“But we thought it better not to come all at once so as not to frighten you.” Ashton interrupts quickly. I thank him silently.

“Deep down, we wanted to bring you this.” she hands me a pen drive. “It's not perfect, but we made a powerpoint to explain everything that happened in these three years.” Leah gives a closed smile.

‘You made a power point?” I ask incredulously.

“Of course we did!” Ashton shakes his shoulders. “We hope it helps and that you remember something. Anything at all, any questions, just call.”

“Thank you very much!” I smile in appreciation for both of them.

“Don't you want to stay for dinner?” my mother offers. I look at them expectantly. They both look at each other and give a shrug.

“We don't have an appointment, right? It won't be a problem. The guys will just be really pissed off that they didn't come.” Leah warns Ashton.

“It will be a pleasure to have dinner.” Ashton smiles in appreciation.

Dinner was very quiet, I did most of the talking. They were very curious to know what amnesia was like and how I was feeling and dealing with everything.

“Depending on how things go for you this week, we thought we would have a dinner on Friday. Then if you feel comfortable, of course, you can see everyone again.” Ash suggests.

There is still time until Friday, but just the thought of seeing everyone makes my stomach turn. I know they are my friends and they know me, but I still get nervous. Not to mention that they are famous, I don't know how to deal with these people. Although I am too.

“That's fine, we'll confirm by Friday.” I open a nervous smile. “Huh, Luke didn't want to come?” I question, upset at his absence today.

How am I supposed to get to know and get close to him if he doesn't come?

I watch the two of them look at each other and wrap up the beginning of their answer. In the end, Ashton sighs and answers.

“He is having a hard time absorbing all this. He just needs some time to sort it all out in his head.” Ash shrugs, signaling that it was no big deal.

I understand that it is hard for him. I don't know how I would handle it if I were him, but I'm not going to pretend to be upset that he's not here either, although I can't do anything about it, I'm not going to force him to stay here if he doesn't want to.

“It's really weird having Luke as my boyfriend, you guys as best friends. It's so out of reality. It feels like I'm in a dream and soon I'll wake up.” I comment, playing with the cloth napkin.

“Look, the first time you handled and accepted all of this well. I'm sure you'll manage again.” Leah squeezes my hand on the table.

“So, a powerpoint, hm?” I change the subject not being able to prolong my curiosity any longer. Even though I'm scared, I want to see it.

Leah cheers up again and begins to explain everything very excitedly. With their help we go to the living room and I put the pen drive on the TV, ready to see what they have done. It is strange to think that this small object has all the answers I am looking for. Not to mention the fear of the unknown, in this case, the forgotten one.

“Ok, so this is Michael…” I watch her standing beside the screen, explaining everything to me, with extreme patience and good will. My god, she is an angel.

I look at all my friends and the things we have done. I notice how Ashton was a kind of older brother, overprotective, and Leah was a kind of sister. Always holding hands or holding arms. Or when we were drunk, trying to climb on each other's backs.

They put all the trips we took, my fashion shows and photo shoots, some interviews. It was a great summary. I stare at the screen feeling something strange welling up in me, I see flashes forming in my head, and I begin to force myself to remember.

“Don't skip.” I shout to her, not wanting to lose the flow of memory. “Play that video again.” I ask desperately.

I approach the TV watching Noah, Leah's brother, walking in front of the camera with a bag on his head and complaining that the product was burning. He was bleaching his hair.

" “Why does this shit burn so bad?” I hear Noah shouting from the room, pissed off.

“Because it's bleaching.” I answer, grabbing another cookie from the plate. I sit down on the couch next to Calum, who is very interested in the package of bleach.

“What do you think about me bleaching mine?” he asks, still focused on the package in his hand.

I stare at him for a few minutes, trying to imagine the look. I pout, signaling that it wouldn't look too bad, in my opinion.

“For God's sake, you're not going to do that ridiculous lock of hair again, are you?” Leah shouts from the bathroom.

“It wasn't ridiculous.” He defends himself loudly. “But I really wouldn't do it again.” he comments softly, making me laugh.

“OH MY GOD.” I hear Noah scream. We run into the bathroom to find his white hair, with a few colored dots, just like the ones in the bag.

I cover my mouth in shock. Leah starts to record trying to hold in her laughter, as do I, but we simply can't stand it when Calum reads the name of the pharmacy in Noah's head.

I see him leaning against the doorframe laughing with his hand on his stomach and eyes closed. Miserably, I still try to hold in my laughter, not lasting long and joining Calum, becoming almost breathless.

“Oh man.” he dries his tears, laughing again next."

“Noah didn't want to go out anymore that night. We ordered burritos and stayed at his place. Calum and I spent the whole night laughing about it.” I speak too fast, running over a few words. I replay the scene in my head a few more times still flustered.

They both look at me and Leah starts jumping up and down in celebration. I remembered, I remembered! I start yelling at her, celebrating.

“What's wrong?” my mother comes running from the bedroom.

“I remembered. I remembered Noah with bad hair!” I shout, out of breath. The three of them hug me and again we shout.

[hollyhomburg]

I'm fairly confused about this entire situation, honestly. I saw the original girl comment about whether or not she was entirely sure to feel comfortable on a page meant to do that exact thing. In my opinion (which is fairly confused atm), you were both in the wrong. Of course, you don't have to answer anything about your gender or whether or not you have certain body parts, I can definitely understand that! But the extra meanness was a bit uncalled for. They just didn't want to feel unsafe :/

Also, everyone deals with pain differently. Whether or not if it's something that seems a bit pushy or not. I feel for both sides of this weird miscommunication, I really do. I guess that's just my inner-understanding lol. So yeah, I feel for you! I know what it feels like to go through things that annoy you and cause disruption amongst your inner self, but my heart also goes out to the girl that was painted as a transphobe when all she wanted to do was feel was safe.

P.S, this was absolutely not coming from a place of anger! It is your choice whether to insult me or realize that people have different opinions; I will understand if either one is chosen! I wish you well, and if the girl is also reading this, I wish you well too and I really do hope that you get closure and understanding because I've also gone through something similar to what you have. It's so painful, but stay strong and you'll be able to say that you came out of it alive :)

----------------------

First off, I want you to know that the anger in the response is not directed at you the asker of this question. but at the person from last night. second, I’m probably not going to respond to any more asks on this topic, because I'm tired. 

okay so let me put it this way for you. you would not under any circumstances pull down Anyone's pants to check their genitals in public. right? or demand that they pull down their pants for you and expose themselves in a public way just so that you can make sure they don’t have a penis. 

The fact of the matter is that someone else's genitals are none of yours nor anyone else's business. And asking about this is not only violating and transphobic but also inappropriate. (I shouldn’t have to clarify that this is transphobic at this point. before you want to argue that- do your research, google is free).

what you seem to misunderstand is that transphobia is an act of aggression. to be transphobic is to cause trauma, to trigger, to be violent. this person asking me about my genitals was an act of violence. and I responded like it was one- with meanness that was called for because I felt hurt. because what they said was hurtful. 

as someone who has never felt safe in my entire life, both because of abuse, rape, and my identity- that doesn't give me a right to threaten someone elces safety because my safety demands it. each and all traumas are valid, and just because they wanted to feel safe on my page doesn't give them a right to take away my safety. especially because this is my page and my safe space that I have created with hours of uncompensated work. So no- they don't have a right to take away my safety and security for their own.  

asking on anon is also a little sus, they didn’t reach out through dm- which is how all things of a personal nature should be. they knew there was a possibility I would take it wrong and didn’t want to be blocked from my page. they feel entitled to my work and entitled to my body in the same way. i wont apologize for trying to preserve this page, and I won’t apologize for acting for matching their level of meanness. 

when you have trauma there are so many things that are triggering for other people that aren’t triggering for you. The real world doesn't come with specific trigger warnings and you have to eventually come to that conclusion with trauma, you will be triggered for no reason at one point, and its a sad fact but it will happen. 

for example- one of my triggers is piano music. to this day I can’t watch my favorite idol play piano because it is too much of a trigger to me. 

But I would NEVER insinuate that min yoongi needed to stop playing piano music just because at one point in my life my stalker would blast piano music outside my bedroom window at 3 am to keep me from sleeping for weeks at a time. or because I was constantly sleep deprived growing up because he wouldn’t let me sleep- my triggers and my reality are irrelevant to min yoongi enjoying the thing he enjoys, just like that person’s trauma is irrelevant to my own. It would be mean and uncalled for me to demand he stops doing something he loves just because it's a trigger for me. People will exist outside of your trauma and that's okay.  

(tw; rape) I’ve been rapped by three men in my life. One was a frat boy in college who I woke up to telling me my hole was bleeding and wanted me to leave because I was getting it all over his sheets. another was a old man, it happened when I was so little that I barely remember it and honestly, all I remember is how much it hurt and how dirty his hands were, he had a lot of dirt under his nails and I remember thinking ‘i don't think that should go inside me’ as a fucking 5-year-old

And the third, was three years ago when an American gi rapped me in hongdae, South Korea, I met him at a bar called mikes cabin. I wasn’t a perfect victim, i’d just had a fight with my soulmate and I went out looking for trouble and I found it. but after I changed my mind he didn’t care, he shoved his dick in my ass without my consent. I bled all over his sheets too. choked on the blood coming out my nose after he slapped me. i remember he shoved his phone in my face to take pictures. somewhere out there there are pictures of me getting raped and I don’t even know where they are or how many people have seen them. 

I don't even know his name only that he had a rose tattoo over his heart. my deadnames middle name is rose. My mom calls me ‘rosebud’ or ‘rosie’ more than my dead name. is it a trigger for me? yes. it is. of course, it is. how could it not be?  

I’ve been raped. i know what they’ve gone through, I know where their pain comes from but my pain is valid too. my genitals could be a trigger to that anon, but defining them in a binary of woman and man is a trigger for me. I am a person and they are a person and both of our triggers are equally valid. but this is my place. this is my expression. 

so why did I act meanly? first off. they violated me by asking me invasive questions and demanded a response. and then secondly; when I asked them not to and told them no- they invalidated my consent and my trauma. then thirdly- they misgendered me- fully committing to being a transphobe. that's why I was mean- because they were mean first.  

this is the only time I’ll explain why I was justified. I hope they get closure too- but their closure isn’t going to come from violence against me or any other trans person. one day that person is probably going to meet a trans woman, and I hope they know better than to call them a boy just because they have a penis. trans people aren’t your punching bags for your trauma. 

trauma doesn't give you the excuse to be a transphobe, no matter what happened to you. you have to learn to treat others with dignity and respect no matter their gender identity or how they trigger you. Because people can’t control what parts of themselves are triggering to you. 

This is the last I’ll talk about this. I'm gonna delete all the other asks asking me about this. I’m not going to talk about it anymore. if you can’t understand why what they did was bad, get off my page. I don’t want you here. 

[cocastyle]

Change - Ch. 2 | F I V E

Pairing - Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 6,390

A/N - sorry for the wait but I’m going to be starting college soon so I’ve been busy with family, friends, and buying stuff for my dorm. I’m hoping to start writing updates again so here’s the first one many! let me know what you think especially with Greyson in the mix because I just love him so much! also, let me know if you like me including the flashbacks because I kind of loved it and was thinking about including more than what is just in the movie!

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C H A N G E

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F I V E - Remember

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Y/N stared up at the Derry Townhouse in front of her, a sick feeling in her stomach as she realized that she had to go in there and convince her friends to stay. If there was any shot of them defeating It, it had to be with all of them there. That's how they defeated It last time and that was the only way they would be able to defeat It this time.

She knew her friends would think she was crazy. She was well aware of the fact. Y/N just wasn't sure what she was going to say or if she was even ready to face them after what they had all just found out. She wasn't ready for the looks of pity or the reminders of Stan especially since her heart was already so fragile that one more blow might actually kill her.

The woman found herself spiraling down a whirlpool of her own thoughts and she would've only gotten worse if it weren't for Greyson gently grabbing ahold of her hand and giving it a squeeze. Y/N glanced at the boy, his red eyes matching hers despite the small reassuring smile on his face.

Y/N really didn't deserve Greyson as a son. It was almost too good to be true.

"Together," Greyson whispered, reminding her once again that she wasn't alone no matter how much she felt like she was without Stan. Y/N gave a short nod and squeezed Greyson's hand once before the two began walking up the steps of the townhouse.

They were inside within seconds and were instantly met with Richie yelling at Ben and Beverly with his bag hanging from his shoulder, "Whatever you guys are talking about, let's make it happen fast, alright? We got to go." He turned towards the stairs and yelled up, "Edwardo, andele! Let's go!"

Richie then seemed to notice the presence of Y/N and Greyson and let out a small sigh of relief. "I don't know where the fuck you've been, but go grab your shit. We're getting out of here pronto," Richie announced as he walked over to behind the girl and began lightly shoving her towards the steps. "Come on, Uris. Move it."

"Rich, I can't," Y/N managed to say, her words causing the man to freeze before letting out a loud laugh.

"Real funny, Y/N. Now come on. I'm not leaving here until I know you're safe and on your way home," Richie insisted as he tried to move her again.

"Richie," Y/N sighed, but the man was barely listening to her as he caught wind of Beverly and Ben's conversation in which Y/N and Greyson couldn't help but listen to either.

"There's something you're not telling us. You knew how Stanley died. You knew," Ben said, his words making the three wide eyed while Beverly just remained silent.

"Wait, what?" Richie questioned as he let go of Y/N and walked into the small parlor the pair was in. Y/N quickly followed after, coming to a stop beside Richie while Greyson came up behind them.

"You. . .knew?" Y/N whispered, a flicker of hurt flashing through her eyes while Beverly lowered her gaze to the floor.

"I can't do this," Beverly muttered before brushing past the four and attempting to walk away into a different room.

"She knew how Stanley was going to die? Is that what she just said?" Richie asked, but Ben and Y/N were already following after the red head. Richie glanced to Greyson who merely shrugged. The man noticed his red eyes and sighed before placing a hand on the kid's shoulder in comfort as they walked after the three.

"You can't just walk away from this," Ben insisted while Beverly rapidly rang the bell at the front desk. "How did you know where he killed himself? Bev."

The red head ignored them and moved around the counter. "Talk to me. Just talk to me like we used to!" Ben exclaimed, but when his attempts still didn't work, Y/N stepped in and was quick to stand in front of the girl to stop her from moving.

Beverly was quiet as she stared at Y/N, the later staring at the red head in a mixture of pain and sadness as she reached out to grab onto Beverly's hand. "Bev, please," Y/N whispered, her eyes flickering over the girl's face as she desperately squeezed her hand.

If Beverly had known that Stan was going to die, Y/N needed to know how and why. It just didn't make sense. None of this did. And Y/N really just wanted the whole picture. She deserved that much.

Beverly let out a shaky breath, tears beginning to fill her eyes as she whispered, "Because I saw it. I've seen all of us die, even—" She trailed off as her eyes flickered over to Greyson.  Y/N's breath caught in her throat and she glanced back at her son who stared back wide eyed while Richie tightened his grip on the boy's shoulder.

A heavy silence fell among the group as Beverly's words began to sink in. No one even bothered glancing at Eddie who was noisily making his way down the stairs with his two bags that kept banging against the wooden railing and wall.

"Okay. I just got to grab my toiletry bag and then we can go," Eddie announced as he reached the bottom of the stairs. He set his bags down and looked up at the group, pausing almost instantly at the looks on their faces while Y/N finally glanced over at him. The look she gave him made his blood run cold.

"What'd I miss?"

- - -

"Okay, so what do you mean that you've seen us all die?" Eddie questioned, not being able to fathom what Beverly meant. Y/N just put her head in her hands, the regret of deciding to stay coursing through her body while Greyson just sat silent by her side at the mini bar in the room they were in.

"Yeah, cause I got to be honest. That's a fucked up thing to just drop on somebody," Richie muttered.

"Every night since Derry I've been. . .having these nightmares," Beverly explained. "People in pain. People dying. People—" She fell short as a look of horror and pain flashed across her face.

"So you have nightmares?" Eddie questioned as he stopped next to Y/N's chair and leaned against the back. "I have nightmares. People, they have nightmares. But that doesn't mean that your visions are true."

He nudged Y/N and the woman glanced back at him to find Eddie giving her a look as if to ask her to back him up, but for once she couldn't. Y/N just looked away and Eddie swallowed thickly, dread washing over him as he looked to Beverly.

"I've watched every single one of us this week," Beverly whispered, her words making Y/N lean further into her hands as she shook her head.

"You've seen every single one of us what?" a new voice questioned. Y/N sat up almost instantly, her head turning around so quickly she could've gotten whiplash. Her eyes locked on Bill who was already staring back at her from where he stood beside Mike, a small look of surprise and relief on his face at seeing her sitting there.

Y/N didn't know why she had the sudden urge to cross the room and fall into the man's arms, but she did and somehow she was able to keep herself in her seat. Bill's eyes flashed with an unreadable expression as he stared at her, but then he seemed to remember what he had been saying and blinked before looking back down at Beverly.

"To the place where Stanley wound up. That's how we end," Beverly said, her eyes flickering over to Y/N who immediately avoided eye contact and stared down at her hands. A hand was placed on top of her own and Y/N glanced to her side where Greyson was giving her a soft reassuring smile as he squeezed her hand. Y/N squeezed his hand back, her heart warming at just how amazing her son was.

"Okay, how come the rest of us aren't seeing that shit? What—what makes her so different?" Richie asked.

"The dead lights," Y/N muttered, her whole body feeling as if it had suddenly been dunked under cold water. She distantly saw Beverly floating in the air, her eyes glazed over as she floated above them trapped in some sort of prison that Pennywise was able to conjure.

Everyone's eyes flickered over to her and Y/N sighed before taking her free hand and running it through her hair while the other one held on tightly to her son. "It's the only thing that makes sense. No one else's got trapped in the dead lights, only Bev," she explained.

"She was the only one of us that got caught in the dead lights that day," Bill muttered as the memory came back to him and the others.

The man shook his head and crossed the room to sit in the seat beside Y/N, plopping down in disbelief while Greyson watched his mother gently reach out and place a hand on Bill's shoulder. Bill's hand flew up instantly, settling on top of her own and holding onto it tightly before the two exchanged a small look.

"We were all touched by it. Changed. Deep down like an infection or a virus. A virus! You understand! Slowly—" Mike tried to say as he reached out for Eddie, but the man quickly slid past him and began pacing around the room. "That virus, it's been growing for twenty seven years. This whole time metastasizing. It just got to Stan first because—"

"He's the weakest," Richie said and before anyone could even blink, Y/N had slammed her hand on the counter in order to push her up off her seat. She was in front of Richie in a matter of seconds, her finger pointed at his chest while a look of pure fury dawned her face.

Tears pooled in her eyes as she darkly said, "Stanley was not weak. He. . .he was brave and kind and. . .and—" Y/N had to pause in order to stop the sob that had begun to cross her lips. "And a better man than you will ever be!"

Richie's face softened as he looked down at his friend and for a moment it was like he saw the same thirteen year old that had been his best friend all of those years ago, the same girl who rarely left her cousin's side and loved him with all of her heart. Fuck, he was an asshole, wasn't he?

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to hurt you," Richie whispered as he carefully reached out and wrapped his arms around the girl, pulling her closer to his body for a hug. She fell against him with no fighting, her body limp against his own while her hands balled into fists on his jacket.

A soft sob escaped her lips and she weakly shook the man as she said again, "Stanley's not weak. He's not. . .he's not weak."

Richie just held her tighter, his eyes flickering up to the others who were all glaring at him. He gave them all an apologetic smile and most of them shook their heads and looked away, but Bill and Greyson continued to glare at Richie from where they sat next to each other at the counter.

"What Beverly sees, it will come to pass," Mike said after a moment of silence where Y/N finally managed to calm herself down enough to look back at the others while Richie continued to hold her comfortingly which no one bothered pointing out. He had always had a soft spot for the girl since they were younger and now was no exception, especially considering the fact that he had been the one to make her upset. "It's what'll happen to all of us eventually unless we stop it."

"How the hell are we supposed to do that?" Eddie questioned, glancing over at Y/N to see if she was alright and smiling softly as he watched her pull away from Richie and return the soft smile that Richie was giving her as he brushed her hair out of her face and whispered another apology.

"The ritual of Chüd," Mike told them.

Y/N scrunched up her nose, wiping at her eyes to get rid of the last of her tears as she pushed her emotions aside and tried to be the brave girl she had been twenty seven years ago when she first fought the clown. "The ritual of what now?" she questioned, her and Richie sharing a look of disgust and confusion.

"Chüd," Mike said again. "The Shokapiwah, the first ones who fought it, they have a saying. All living things must abide by the laws of the shape they inhabit."

"Tribal ritual? Are you fucking kidding me, man?" Richie questioned while Y/N just shook her head and walked over to the line of alcohol bottles on the wall. She was quick to grab a bottle and pour herself a shot before downing it in a matter of seconds. She could feel eyes on her and glanced over at her son who had an eyebrow raised. Sighing, Y/N poured herself one last shot and set the bottle down before walking over to the counter and leaning opposite of Greyson.

"There's gotta be another way," Y/N insisted, downing her last shot and setting the glass down while Bill sneaked a worried look in her direction.

"Y/N's right. This thing comes back what? Every twenty seven years? Let's kick the can down the road and do it then," Richie suggested.

"We'll be seventy years old, asshole," Eddie pointed out.

Y/N winced. "Yeah, I'd like to think I'll be up and kicking at seventy, but I'll have one foot in the grave before I can even think about fighting some fucking clown at that age," she muttered.

"It doesn't work that way," Beverly assured her. "None of us make it another twenty years, not even Greyson, and the way it happens—"

Beverly trailed off again and Y/N glanced at Greyson before clenching her jaw. "You trailing off every time you're about to say something horrible does not make this any less terrifying," Y/N said, her eyes locking on Bill who had his concerned gaze on Greyson as if he couldn't imagine the kid dying a horrible death this early in his life because of Pennywise.

"So if we don't beat It this cycle then we die," Ben concluded.

"Horrible," Eddie added.

"Yeah, I don't need the horrible part," Richie assured the man.

"I didn't say it, she said it. Not me," Eddie muttered.

"Wow, such great options we have. Either give up and die, lose and die, or somehow pull a win out of asses and actually get to live the rest of our lives. I'm loving this whole reunion thing so far," Y/N grumbled, earning a small glare from Greyson as the boy silently told her to play nice.

"Alright guys, look," Bill said as he pushed himself up off his seat, patting Greyson's shoulder once before glancing around at his friends. "I've seen w-w-what he's talking about and it's. . .it's all true." Bill's eyes stopped on Y/N and she lightly shook her head at him, but he only gave her a small look as he whispered, "It's the only way."

Y/N bit her lip at that, staring silently at Bill as she tried to decide if she actually had to do this. But then she was reminded of Stanley and how she wanted to make him proud. She was reminded of Greyson who had a future she needed to protect. She was reminded of the Losers', her friends who she made a pact with long ago at the age of thirteen to return and defeat this clown once and for all.

And then there was Bill. Bill Denbrough, the boy who she hadn't remembered until Mike spoke to her over the phone but the boy who she knew had meant so much to her back in the day. This was the boy who had willingly offered to sacrifice himself to Pennywise in order for them to escape and the same boy who had comforted her after her parents' divorce.

There is no way I'm leaving you behind. And there is absolutely no fucking way I'm going to be able to live a happy life without you in it.

You make me happy, Bill Denbrough.

"Fuck," Y/N whispered as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration. She let out a sigh of exasperation and looked at Bill a moment longer, the man giving her a shy smile for he knew she was breaking. She was quick to look away and instead turned her attention to Mike. "If you want this ritual to work—" she trailed off, ignoring the small sighs coming from Eddie and Richie as they both hung their head because they knew if Y/N stayed that meant they would be staying as well.

"We have to remember," Mike told her, his words making the group hesitate while Greyson began to smile excitedly.

"Remember what?"

- - -

"No fucking way," Y/N breathed out as her eyes flickered around the scenery that surrounded her. "The Barrens." Subconsciously, Y/N glanced over to her side, a small smile on her face as she expected a certain curly haired boy to be standing with her.

She was met with nothing but empty space.

Her smile instantly vanished as she was once again reminded that her cousin was gone, but she didn't have long to think about it before a hand gently grabbed ahold of her shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. Y/N turned, relaxing a bit at the sight of Bill standing there but also feeling her stomach erupt with butterflies almost instantly.

She momentarily saw Greyson glance back at her and Bill from where he stood beside Richie and Eddie who were also looking back. The three all gave her different looks, Greyson smiling with a thumbs up while Richie smirked and Eddie gave her a knowing look. Y/N quickly ignored them and instead looked back at Bill who was watching her expectantly.

Realizing she had missed his question, Bill chuckled before saying, "I asked how you are doing."

"Oh, uh. . .fine. Fine. Fine," she said, wincing slightly at her own words while Bill raised an eyebrow at her. Y/N let out a soft sigh, "We can talk about this later, okay? Right now is really not the time."

"Right, of course," Bill nodded, letting his hand fall back down to his side. "I just. . .I'm here, okay? You're not alone in this."

Y/N hesitated at that, her eyes flickering up to lock with Bill's before she smiled her first genuine smile since the news of Stan's death. Bill almost swooned at the sight and he swore his heart leapt out of his chest for a moment when Y/N brushed her hand against his before grabbing onto it and intertwining their fingers together.

"I know," she whispered, chuckling softly at the sight of Bill's red cheeks while he gripped onto her hand just as tight.

"This is where we came," Ben spoke up, his voice snapping the two out of their trance. They glanced over at Ben before looking around at the part of the forest they were in which looked really familiar. "After the rock fight."

"Ah, the rock fight," Y/N sighed. "Henry Bowers didn't know what hit him. You remember us telling him off, Rich?"

"How could I forget? That was the day I learned you had such a potty mouth, sweetheart," Richie teased, glancing back at the girl and tossing a wink in her direction.

"You're telling me Mom didn't come out of the womb telling everyone off?" Greyson asked, quickly holding his hands up in surrender when Y/N playfully glared in his direction.

Richie suddenly let out a small gasp, his eyes widening as he said, "The Clubhouse."

"Holy shit," Y/N laughed, squeezing Bill's hand as she glanced at the man. "We use to sneak out here all the time." Richie immediately wiggled his eyebrows at the two and Y/N frowned before letting go of Bill's hand in order to walk over to her friend and whack the back of his head. "Not in that way, dumbass. I started coming out here by myself when everything going on with my parents just became too much and Bill often joined me."

"Did you and Bill have a thing?" Greyson suddenly questioned, trying to hide his smug grin behind a curious expression that Y/N saw right through.

However, she wasn't able to handle the situation very well because the suddenness of the question made her face instantly turn bright red and Bill wasn't much better.

"Oh, they totally had the hots for each other," Richie assured the kid. "In fact, they even—"

"Okay! That's enough!" Y/N exclaimed. "We're getting off subject. We were talking about the Clubhouse, remember? Ben, you built that for us if I am remembering correctly, didn't you?"

"Yeah, the hatch has got to be around here someplace," Eddie agreed, sending a small look in Y/N's direction before grabbing ahold of Greyson's shoulder and beginning to push him forwards. "Come on, Grey. You're gonna want to see this."

The two walked off in search of the hatch along with the others leaving Bill and Y/N to awkwardly stand there before the woman abruptly turned around. "I'm sorry about Greyson. He doesn't exactly know when it's appropriate to ask personal questions like that," Y/N said.

Bill just smiled and stuffed his hands in his pockets before saying, "No, it's fine. He's a curious boy is all. Just like his mother."

"At least he's not walking into sewers looking for missing children," Y/N joked, her words making both of them halt. The woman blinked and furrowed her eyebrows. "I'm sorry. That kind of just slipped out. I. . .I don't even—"

"Remember that much?" Bill finished, an understanding look crossing his face. "Me too. Although, I do remember some things." His eyes flickered over her face for a moment as if he were trying to find some hidden answer. "What. . .what do you r-r-remember?"

"Just some of the basics like spending the summer with Stanley because of my parents. Meeting everyone and that fucking house It resides in. And I remember some of the fighting, but not that much other than that," Y/N explained.

"Any—anything else?" Bill asked, his eyes still scanning her face and making Y/N's cheeks heat up a bit.

Was there something she was forgetting? She only remembered what she had told Bill and then the fact that she had a huge crush on him back then and that it seemed like he had liked her too.

"No," Y/N hesitantly said, a sinking feeling growing in her stomach once she saw the smile wipe off Bill's face. "Is there something you remember that I don't?"

Bill lowered his gaze to the floor and quickly shook his head. "No, no. Nothing important anyways. Don't worry about it," he assured her, although the tone of his voice told Y/N a different story.

"Bill—" Y/N began, but she was cut off by Ben's voice suddenly calling out to them. Bill was quick to brush past her as he walked over to the others, an action that made Y/N frown and stare after him.

So she was definitely not remembering something, but what?

"You know, I actually think the door was more like around—" Ben started to say, but he fell short when the ground beneath him suddenly gave way and he fell tumbling into what was below.

Y/N's hand flew over her mouth in an attempt to stop her laughter and the others had to stifle their laughter as well while Greyson walked over to the edge of the hole and looked down with a cheeky grin. "You okay there, buddy?" Greyson asked, earning a small groan in response.

"Found it," Ben's muffled voice could be heard calling out. "I'm okay! Come down!"

Everyone hesitantly stared at the hole while Greyson glanced at his mother as if to ask her what their next move was. For a moment, Y/N was met with a memory that she hadn't thought of in quite some time. A small smile appeared on her face as she walked over to the hole, glancing back at the others and giving them a mock salute that made some of them blink in surprise at the familiarity of the scene. In fact, it was like they could see a thirteen year old version of Y/N doing the exact same thing.

Y/N stared down at the hole before letting out a shaky breath. "Welcome back to the Clubhouse, Y/N," she whispered. And with that, she began to make her descent back into the clubhouse of her past.

- - -

1989

"What do you think it is?" Y/N questioned as she rested her head against her hand and looked up at the sky. "A new jump off spot at the Quarry? Some secret passage that will take us to Narnia?"

"Y/N, I don't think it's any of those things," Stan chuckled, glancing over at his cousin as a wide smile appeared on his face.

"Why not? Ben said he had something to show us. It could literally be anything in the world!" Y/N exclaimed happily, throwing her hands up in the air for exaggeration and making Richie groan.

"I hope it's a back brace because I'm going to need it if you keep moving around like that," Richie grumbled below Y/N who he was currently carrying on his back through the woods.

"And whose fault is that?" Y/N inquired, a smirk on her face as she glanced down at the boy. Richie frowned and Y/N chuckled before reaching out and pushing his glasses back up his nose which in turn received a thankful glance from the boy.

"You were the one who bet Y/N couldn't do a round off back handspring followed by four flips in the air before hitting the water at the Quarry," Eddie pointed out, earning a small glare from Richie.

"How was I supposed to know she did gymnastics for seven fucking years? She didn't disclose that information to me. This isn't fair," Richie complained.

"Quit complaining, Rich," Mike laughed, pushing a tree branch out of the way in order for Richie to walk under it successfully without Y/N being hit. "It could be worse. She could've made you do literally anything else, but all she's doing is making you give her a piggyback ride."

"Yeah, through the fucking forest," Richie grumbled. "I really think you just love to torture me, sweetheart."

"It's my job," Y/N replied with a smug look on her face.

"I can't!" Richie exclaimed suddenly placing the girl on the ground and putting his arms up in the air in order to stretch. "I think my back is about to spaz out or something."

"Rich—" Y/N began, a bit of concern flashing through her eyes as she looked at the boy.

"It's fine, Richie. I'll carry her for you so that you don't have to worry about it anymore," Bill spoke up, his words making Y/N's eyes widen as she quickly spun around to look at the boy.

He stood there with his hands in his pocket, a shy grin on his face as he let his eyes flicker over to her. "As long as that is okay, of course," Bill whispered.

"Thank you!" Richie exclaimed before beginning to shove Y/N over to the boy. "I know I practically carry the whole group with my dazzling personality, but I didn't think I'd literally have to carry one of you. Please, just take her."

If Y/N had wanted to protest, she had no chance for Richie had shoved her forward one last time and she was suddenly face to face with Bill. Her mouth hung open a bit, her face beginning to heat up while her heart beat rapidly in her chest.

"You sure you're okay with this?" Y/N questioned, hesitantly watching Bill who just gave her a warm smile and nodded his head before turning around in order for her to climb onto his back.

Y/N let out a shaky breath and placed her hands on Bill's shoulders before jumping up, the boy catching her legs while she desperately wrapped her arms around his neck and dug her face into the crook of his neck in order not to fall off. Once she was sure she was okay, Y/N peeled her eyes open and let out a small sigh of relief as Bill began to walk once again, this time with her gently holding onto him for a piggyback ride.

Y/N glanced over in Richie's direction to check and see how he was doing before her eyes widened at the sight of him smirking at her. It didn't take much for her to realize Richie had planned this, had been hoping this is how it would play out. She sent a small glare in his direction and didn't even think twice in leaning her head against Bill's while the boy tried to hide his growing blush.

The group walked for a while longer, some of them mumbling their own conversations to one another while Bill and Y/N remained silent and enjoyed the small walk.

"Now that we finally managed to get Richie to stop complaining, I've got to say I'm just as curious as Y/N," Beverly spoke up, glancing between her friends before stopping on Ben. "What is it, Ben?"

"Sorry to disappoint, but it's nothing like what Y/N suggested. However, I think it might be a bit better," Ben said, a small smile growing on his face as he suddenly stopped in a small clearing in the center of the woods.

The group came to a stop and Y/N sat up a bit and leaned an arm against Bill's shoulder which she used to prop up her head. "What are we looking at here, Hanscom?" Y/N questioned.

"Oh, right," Ben said as he snapped out of his daze and hurried over to a small spot in the ground. Y/N couldn't quite understand what he was doing and Bill glanced back at her, the two both sharing a look before realizing how close their faces were and quickly looking away.

Before they knew what was happening, Ben had grabbed ahold of something and pulled it up to reveal some sort of hatch with a hole in the ground. Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she watched Ben glance at them before he began to climb into the hole.

"Uhh, whatcha doin' there, Ben?" Stan questioned, walking over to Bill and Y/N in order to help the girl get down.

"Come down!" Ben called out. Everyone left above shared a look before hesitantly staring at the hole. Finally, Y/N let out a small laugh of excitement and broke everyone out of their trance as she skipped over to the hole. She gave them a mock salute before beginning to climb down, the others shaking their heads at her in amusement before following after.

Y/N made it only halfway down the ladder before she managed to piece together what she was walking into. A look of shock appeared on her face as her feet managed to touch the ground. She stepped away from the ladder allowing the others to get down as well while she tried to take in her surroundings which looked to be some sort of clubhouse under ground.

"What the dick is this?" Richie asked as he jumped off the last part of the ladder and onto his feet. He adjusted his glasses and began to walk around while Y/N shook her head at the boy. "How'd you build it?"

"When did you build it?" Bill questioned, scaring Y/N as she realized the boy was standing right beside her. She couldn't stop herself from jumping in surprise and Bill quickly looked at her, a startled and guilty look on his face while Y/N nervously laughed and looked away with red cheeks.

"Here and there, I guess," Ben said with a small shrug as if it were no big deal.

"Ben, this is so cool!" Y/N exclaimed as she hurried over to the boy and gave him a big hug. "It's like our own little Narnia."

"Minus the creepy witch trying to kill us and the talking animals and—" Richie began to list off, but one glare from Y/N had him putting his hands up in surrender.

"It was already dug out from something," Ben said while Y/N let him go. "So I just had to reinforce the walls and get some wood for the uhh. . .for the roof door and that's pretty much it. Pretty good for my first time, huh?" He leaned a hand against one of the wood beams and a piece of the ceiling suddenly broke off and fell to the ground.

Y/N had to jump out of the way and she stumbled into Stan who was quick to catch his cousin and help her stand up right. She sent him a grateful look and wiped the dust off of her shirt before linking her arm with Stan like always.

"Now that's a cool feature," Richie mused. "What happens when you put your hand on the other pillar, Professor?"

"Okay, you see, this is exactly why there are safety codes, why we have permits!" Eddie exclaimed, slapping his hand on top of the palm of his other one for emphasis. "This place is a death trap, you understand that?"

"Right. Well, it's a work in progress, okay, Eddie?" Ben said, his shoulders slumping a bit.

Y/N frowned and gave Stan's arm a small squeeze before moving over to Eddie. "Come on, Eds," she said as she gently placed a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down a bit, okay? We're fine. Ben was just trying to do something nice for us and he did all of this by himself. Be a kid for a minute and realize how fucking cool this is."

Eddie glanced at the girl and despite his frown, managed to relax a bit before giving her a small smile. Y/N grinned and wrapped an arm around Eddie's shoulders in order to give him a side hug while the boy weakly tried to push her away while hiding his smile.

"Just know if I get hurt, you are liable," Eddie said as he pointed at Ben. "Also, what is this?" He pulled away from Y/N in order to whack a small metal box. "The switch of the Iron Maiden?"

"That's. . .that's a flashlight," Ben replied.

"And what is that? A horse hitch?" Eddie questioned while Y/N put a hand to her forehead and lightly shook her head. She loved Eddie, but he could be a bit high strung at times. "When do you have horses down—oh, this is cool."

He got distracted from his ranting and picked up a paddle ball. "That was like three dollars so be careful with that please," Ben muttered.

"I have one of these," Eddie said before beginning to play with the object. He bounced the ball as far away as he could and looked to Stan with a smile. "Hey, Stan. You see this?"

"Yeah, okay. Can. . .maybe. . .you not?" Stan asked as he flinched back, the others all watching the two in slight amusement and annoyance.

"Maybe not what?" Eddie questioned as he bounced the ball faster. "Yeah, yeah. Hold on. Maybe I'll not what? Maybe I'll not what? Be awesome and have fun and celebrate the magic of the power of the paddle ball?"

Y/N raised her eyebrows in amusement and was just about to tell Eddie to cut it out when he dropped the paddle to the ground, the ball falling off of the string and rolling across the ground and between some wooden skates in the ground.

Everyone was silent before Y/N let out a loud laugh that had Eddie glaring at her while she stumbled over to them and leaned against Stan for support. "That was on you!" Y/N exclaimed while Eddie pouted.

"Uhh, no. It was Stanley. Good going, fucknut. You broke his thing," Eddie said causing Stan to blink his eyes in surprise band before looking at his friend.

"I broke it?" Stan questioned.

"Yeah, you broke it with your face. Y/N saw," Eddie said as he pointed at the girl who held up her hands in surrender.

"I saw nothing," Y/N insisted earning a smug look from Eddie and a look from Stan that practically screamed 'seriously?'

"I'm not putting my fucking hand down there," Eddie insisted before him and Stan began to argue.

Y/N watched the two in amusement before leaning her arm against Stan's shoulder and turning to look at the others. "Oh, this is going to be fun," she said, a grin appearing on her face while the others began to smile.

Her and the Losers would end up spending half of their summer in there and Y/N would be the one to give the place a name one evening when the group was all joking around and eating the candy Y/N had managed to sneak out of the house with Stan. And that very name would stick for years to come.

The Clubhouse.

* * *

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[fanmoose12]

1/3: Hello, can I request a song themed levihan fanfic? I have two ideas so you pick: either "stay with me by Sam Smith", a song that Hanji learnt from her brother before he died, she'd sing it as a way to cope with loss and grief, like when Levi's squad died, she sang it to comfort him, she also hummed it when Mike never came back, and sang it at Erwin's funeral as well as next to moblit's grave while crying silently, she didn't care about her voice but Levi thought it was beautiful

All around him was endless, bottomless darkness. It envelops, embraces Levi, offering him a chance of release, a gift of rest.

And he is ready, he is so ready to finally succumb to it. To close his eyes and let go of all his sorrows and heartbreaks.

He is so tired…

But suddenly, he hears a voice. A voice, achingly familiar, even though he can’t remember to whom it belonged to, can’t recall the face of its owner.

Stay with me, ‘cause you’re all I need…

Levi startles. He knows that voice, he knows that words, remembers the song, which was sang in the moments of deepest despair and grief.

His mind begins to fill with unwanted, painful memories…

*** 

He remembers feeling broken, completely shattered. He remembers insufferable pain and immense grief as the faces of the ones under his command, the ones he trusted and believed in, the ones he lost, were refusing to leave his mind. He remembers lying in his bed, trying and failing to hold in his quiet sobs.

He remembers a warm, comforting hand, which was caressing his shoulder. He remembers that same voice, mumbling the words of the same song into his skin.

And then, another image flashes in Levi’s mind.

 ***

He remembers a figure, hunched over someone’s bed. He can’t see their face, can just make out the outline of their brown-haired head, and the voice that whispers the words of the song into the fabric of someone’s brown leather jacket.

As Levi quietly approaches the figure, they raise their head. Levi still can’t see their face, but tears in their eyes and their shaking whisper breaks Levi’s heart.

“Mike isn’t going back home, is he?”

Levi tries to come closer, wants to touch them and soothe their pain, but he can’t. As soon as he takes a step closer, the memory changes again.

 ***

Now he stands in front of a crowd of faceless, unknown soldiers.

Their attention, same as Levi’s, is directed at the figure in the center. Levi sees a tall, proud silhouette, their head is raised high as they speak of “how much of an honor it was to serve under late Commander Erwin Smith, how much they’ve learned from him, and how they hope they wouldn’t let him down, when serving as his successor.” Their voice is confident and loud, it carries through the whole parade ground.

Their hands, hidden behind their back, are shaking.

***

The memory changes once more, and Levi isn’t at all surprised to see himself standing on graveyard.

The same figure, the same familiar silhouette, which Levi still can’t put a name on, kneels in front of a tombstone. One hand clutches a bouquet of pink lilies, while the other squeezes the tombstone so tightly, their knuckles are as white, as the stone beneath them.

They quietly sing the same song. From time to time, it is interrupted with broken sobs and hiccups.

They turn their head, sensing Levi behind them.

Levi still can’t see their face.

“I brought lilies,” they began. Levi can hear a wistful, sad smile on their lips. But his eyes can’t see it. “They were Erwin’s favorite, I remember how he always smiled when he saw them. I guess, they reminded him of someone, but he never told me about it.”

Marie, Levi suddenly remembers. He remembers seeing that woman briefly a couple of times. Remembers, how in one hand she carried a bouquet of pink lilies, while her other was holding the hand of a tall and dark-haired man. Remembers seeing the sad look on the usual stoic face of his friend.

“I’ve never asked what flowers were Moblit’s favorites,” the figure beside him continues. A bitter laugh rips from their lips. It is a horrible, broken sound and Levi’s hands are itching to hold them close, to hide them in his hands and never let go. “He had done so much for me, sacrificed his life for me, and I’ve never even asked what flowers he liked.”

“They left us, Levi, even they left me. Oh god, what am I going to do now?”

Levi’s heart breaks, shatters into a million pieces, as he watches the figure in front of him crying. He feels their pain, suffers from an unbearable amount of guilt and grief, which settles over his shoulders and refuses to leave.

He can’t remember that person, even their name still eludes him, but Levi knows with an iron certainty that they’re important to him, that he cares about them deeply, that he loves them.

And then, he hears that song again.

Stay with me, cause you’re all I need…

The voice calls him, and as Levi tries to reach its call, he knows that he has to, must, answer them.

Levi knows that this person needs him, desperately so, and a moment later another realization hits him: he needs them too. Whoever they are, even if Levi can’t remember their face, their goddamn name, he knows that he can’t let them go, can’t leave them all alone in this cruel world.

And so Levi breaks out from the comforting embrace of the darkness, gets away from the greedy hands of the death itself.

It hurts, it hurts so much, it seems like every part of his body is on fire, every cell of his organism aches and protests, but Levi doesn’t give up.

He has to come back, he has to come back to her.

And slowly, painfully slowly, Levi comes back to his senses.

He can’t open his eyes yet, but he feels the droplets of cold rain on his face. He feels warm and trembling hands on his chest. And he hears that familiar voice, singing a song that brought him an inapprehensible amount of pain every time he heard it. He hears a voice, so well-known, so loved.

Stay with me, cause you’re all I need…

The voice is desperate, broken, the uncontrolled sobs mixing with quiet whispering.

Hange, Levi suddenly remembers.

His mind begins to fill with a dozen, hundreds, thousands of memories.

He remembers a boisterous laugh and loud voice, he remembers a smirk on a face and teasing words, he remembers soft voice in the darkness of the night, whispering secrets into the crook of Levi’s neck, he remembers screams of rage and the fire inside brown eyes, he remembers a stone-cold stare and unwavering voice as it shouts commands during battle, he remembers gentle smile and even gentler gaze as this voice spoke of love and devotion.

He remembers a wistful, sad smile and quiet words as the same voice spoke of a future, of a quiet, peaceful life, spent together.

Hange.

How could he even think of leaving her, when just her name fills his heart with so much longing, with so much love?

“Hange,” Levi tries to call.

His voice is too weak, too quiet to be heard in the thunderous sounds of rain.

But Hange’s sobs stop, as her gaze focuses on his face.

“Levi!” she starts crying again, but this time it’s out of relief.

Levi opens his eyes, his eye, and looks at Hange. She looks like a mess – hair wet and sticking to her face, glasses fogged, face red and swollen from crying.

She’s still the most beautiful person Levi had ever seen.

“You bastard!” Hange’s presses her face into his wet and bloodied shirt. Almost like an instinct, Levi’s healthy hand comes to caress her hair. “You scared me so much, Levi. I thought I lost you too. I don’t know if I could continue alone.”

“I’m here,” Levi reassures, his fingers tangling in Hange’s messy locks. “I’ll never leave you, Hange. I’ll stay with you,” he promises, and his words sound louder than the merciless rain. “Always.”